Your Money or Your Life Bitches!

Happy Birthday Adam Ant!!!!!

Dude. Stand and Deliver, indeed.

The years have not been kind to my dear sweet highwayman.

You may recall that he shot up an English pub a couple of years ago, when a patron at said pub dissed him in some way.

I doubt he had matching dueling pistols for that caper ... but ... GO ADAM! I don't care! You are still my top celebrity crush by dint of your extreme weirdness. How could I not love you?

Anyway, Adam is now 51 years old. I hope he's having a good day.




One thing to say about this guy ... his roadies are ON TOP of their game.

When I was 17 years old ... just about to turn 18, Adam came to Portland to play the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. So me and Sonya (my fellow Ant fan) attended the show. Together we had seen Adam about two years previous during his first solo tour. Now we were veterans ... a little more mature ... and ready to PARTY! I had obtained tickets in the second row. Our view was unobstructed. It was AWESOME. Adam: in fine form, as always.

So after the show, we went outside to smoke some cloves when lo and behold ... it's the band's equipment truck, with a friendly roadie sitting inside. "Hello girls," he said. We asked him (probably in high pitched squealing tones) whether he was "with the band." He answered in the affirmative, invited us into his cab for refreshments, and proceeded to invite us to the after party in ADAM ANT'S HOTEL ROOM!!!

Okay, who were we to say no? It's groupie heaven.

So, we're biding our time, waiting for the party to start, when the roadie asks us how old we are.

We're ALMOST 18!! We're going to graduate from high school in a few weeks! WOO FUCKING HOO!!

Roadie guy is horrified. Tells us to get out. But WHY? Ah, sweet innocence. BECAUSE, IDIOTS, you have to be 18 to hang out with Adam Ant so he isn't charged with statutory rape!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ... looking back, our naivete is so endearing. All we wanted to do was tell Adam how much he inspired us. We didn't want to MAKE OUT with him!

What a guy, roadie guy. Oh well. It may have been for the best. The next time I went to see my orthodontist (somewhat of a new wave music fan himself) he told me the girl who caught Adam's sweaty ass fishnet tank top when he threw it into the crowd ... (it WAS 1984, peeps) ... one of his patients, as it happens, ended up DOING IT with Adam that night. Or so she told the good Doctor Wooley. WOW!!! (and eghh, sort of.)

Someone fell down on that I-D check apparently.

Anyways. My love for the big AA has never dimmed, despite his questionable ability to determine the legality of his paramours and his thin skin when confronted with his ultimate insignificance at the local.

My youthful angst ... revealed:

I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention The devil take your stereo and your record collection! The way you look you'll qualify for next year's old age pension! Stand and deliver your money or your life! Try and use a mirror no bullet or a knife! I'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion The clumsy boots, peek-a-boo roots that people think so dashing So what's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking? It's kind of tough to tell a scruff the big mistake he's making Stand and deliver your money or your life! Try and use a mirror no bullet or a knife! And even though you fool your soul Your conscience will be mine All mine We're the dandy highwaymen so tired of excuses Of deep meaning philosophies where only showbiz loses We're the dandy highwaymen and here's our invitation Throw your safety overboard and join our insect nation Stand and deliver your money or your life! Try and use a mirror no bullet or a knife! Even though you fool your soul Your conscience will be mine, all mine da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa Stand and deliver your money or your life! Stand and deliver your money or your life!

Hmm. Okay. qa qa qa diddley.

Until later, love and kisses xoxoxoxo