The Realm

A Place Where Cheese Is Queen

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Sumptuous

So I'm FINALLY reading this book I've been meaning to get to for YEARS.

It is called "A Distant Mirror" and it is about life in 14th century Europe.

Man, what a hellhole. Ick.

There are all kinds of yucky things about Medieval life. You know, the Plague, the 100 Years War, pogroms, crusades and torture, to name a few.

They also had something called sumptuary laws.

As you may recall learning in Western Civ, sumptuary laws dictated what you could wear and what accessories you were allowed to own based on your "estate."

So basically, royals and nobles could have all manner of jewels and decorations on their clothing.

The clergy as well could have ermine robes and ruby rings and other pretty sparkly things.

But peasants were SOL. They could .. for the most part ... only wear brown and black clothes with no manner of adornment. They couldn't have fun shoes or nice pretty things in their homes.

Now, of course, many peasants didn't give a rat's ass ... because they were pretty poor to begin with. But even members of the peasant and growing merchant class who DID have decent incomes were subject to these laws.

The book says the church supported these laws because the big cheeses wanted the poor masses to tithe any extra dinero instead of spending it on nice or comforting things.

WHAT the HELL?

That is uncool. Thank GOD the 21st Century allows the proletariat to shop at Target.

They have sparkly shoes, belts and everything for reasonable prices. AND it is okay for all and sundry to sport as many sparkles and gems as taste will allow.

Stupid medieval buttholes. So unfair. That kind of crap would NEVER be tolerated in the Land of Cheese.

I have my sparkly shoes on today, so I'm feeling a bit defensive. If I were a 14th century peasant, they could right now be cutting off my feet. DUDE.

It's a good book though.


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Noodle seems to be improving!! Hooray! Her eye is still all covered in some gross cataracty looking thing but she seems much more cheerful. She spent the afternoon playing and snuggling with her little buddy Carlos instead of hiding in the closet. I think it's progress.


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Do you think it is weird to give roles to the items in your lunch?

Today I have two mandarin oranges, a bosc pear and a hot pocket pot pie. I cast the fruits as a herd and the pie thingy as the shepherd.

Now I have to decide ... do I slaughter the herd first, or should I kill the shepherd and let the herd run wild?

My co-worker at the desk next door heard me muttering about it and didn't hesitate to inform me that I need help.

WHAT? GOD.

I can't wait for my nap.

xoxoxo kisses and sparkles for ALL in the Realm of the Cheese!!xoxoxo

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does proletariat mean?

I would slaughter the shepherd first as the fibre in the herd will help them all escape from the evil monster who killed them.

Friday, December 01, 2006  
Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

Pickle,

You have questions, I have answers.

From Wikipedia:

The PROLETARIAT (from Latin proles, offspring) is a term used to identify a lower social class; a member of such a class is proletarian. Originally it was identified as those people who had no wealth other than their sons; the term was initially used in a derogatory sense, until Karl Marx used it as a sociological term to refer to the working class.

Friday, December 01, 2006  
Blogger The Savage said...

Take a bite from the sheep and then a bite from the shepherd and repeat until flock and shepherd are gone.. you need something to be a wolf and have it for dessert....

Friday, December 01, 2006  
Blogger JMai said...

Isn't giving roles to food the primary reason that we have vegetarians?

I'm happy Noodle is feeling better! Anyone would feel better with a Carlos Muffin to snuggle up to, I think.

So does this mean you're done with the plate-shifting book?

Saturday, December 02, 2006  

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