Evil?
A rough week, this first week without Provigil. To be sure.
Perhaps a week in Mexico will serve as my own private sleep rehab. Hah! not.
I admit, I am sad to be leaving my little Noodle for a week. Not so much Messy. Though I will say, if the past is any indicator, I'll miss her while I'm gone.
Luckily, Mari has generously agreed to move into the house of scattered fur and keep them company while I'm off gallivanting. So at least I won't have to worry that they're lonely.
I learned something interesting recently, during a random web surfing session.
Cats are evil, and should not be kept as pets by "true christians."
I'll leave out the boring bible bits and the bad influence cats have had on man down through the ages, and just post this important information about cats of the modern day:
Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits notbefitting a Christian household: coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) andwidespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices,substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that 'neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.' (1 Cor. 6:9-11)
Full text can be read here.
Good Lord.
Does this mean I need to rethink my plans for a future of cat spinsterdom?
Wait! I'm not Christian! phew!
Clearly, the writer of the above tract never took Anthropology 101, if he/she thinks cats are the only species that are not endowed with Godly chastity and decorum.
That class wasn't called Monkey Porn on my campus for nothing.
In addition, I can tell you that tortoises are exhibitionists. They don't care WHO'S watching.
xoxoxo kisses. No fornication though. sorry.
Perhaps a week in Mexico will serve as my own private sleep rehab. Hah! not.
I admit, I am sad to be leaving my little Noodle for a week. Not so much Messy. Though I will say, if the past is any indicator, I'll miss her while I'm gone.
Luckily, Mari has generously agreed to move into the house of scattered fur and keep them company while I'm off gallivanting. So at least I won't have to worry that they're lonely.
I learned something interesting recently, during a random web surfing session.
Cats are evil, and should not be kept as pets by "true christians."
I'll leave out the boring bible bits and the bad influence cats have had on man down through the ages, and just post this important information about cats of the modern day:
Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits notbefitting a Christian household: coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) andwidespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices,substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that 'neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.' (1 Cor. 6:9-11)
Full text can be read here.
Good Lord.
Does this mean I need to rethink my plans for a future of cat spinsterdom?
Wait! I'm not Christian! phew!
Clearly, the writer of the above tract never took Anthropology 101, if he/she thinks cats are the only species that are not endowed with Godly chastity and decorum.
That class wasn't called Monkey Porn on my campus for nothing.
In addition, I can tell you that tortoises are exhibitionists. They don't care WHO'S watching.
xoxoxo kisses. No fornication though. sorry.
posted by Queen of Cheese | 10:28 AM
1 Comments:
coughing up furballs is ungodly?? i had no idea.
this is hilarious. and frightening at the same time.
who comes up with this shit??
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