A World Gone MAD
I had the funkiest day ever!
It's Friday night and I am not leaving my apartment again on this day because I can't be sure what might happen next.
It all started when my alarm clock this morning so rudely interrupted my slumber.
That's nothing unusual. But since I pushed the snooze button about 283 times, I didn't have much time to get ready and I had to drive my car to work.
Then I discovered I was out of cigarettes! One cannot partake of the breakfast of champions (coffee and cigarette, der) without half the equation.
No worries, I thought. I'll just stop by a gas station on my way to work.
HAH! The attendants at the first two were all tucked up in sleeping bags behind the cash registers, snoozing comfortably. I hadn't the heart to wake them.
At the third, the guy was awake, but completely OUT of smokes. He didn't even have cigars.
So, okay. I can deal. My quest was a failure. But I comforted myself by imagining the hot cup of coffee I was sure was in my fairly immediate future.
NOT SO FAST! I've had to go to Starbucks all this week because Marlin the coffee guy has mysteriously disappeared. Which sucks in itself because you know. STARBUCKS. But when you're jonesing for coffee, who the hell REALLY has time for principles? I'm sure some people do, but I don't.
So, I amble on down. The door is locked. Finally the guy arranging the pastries grudgingly comes to the door and says hey sorry, we're not ready yet. Come back in 15 minutes.
No can do, I say. It's 5:40 in the morning and I GOT SHIT TO DO!!
YOUR SIGN SAYS YOU'RE OPEN AT 5:30! You are located in a two block vicinity of at least three 24 hour operations. Is it not reasonable to open when you say you will with coffee brewed for your early arrivals?
GAH!
The rest of the day passed without incident.
However, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, ready to begin my new life as an official partyer, I checked my email and found that a bill that usually falls due AFTER the 15th of the month must be paid by August 14th. FOILED!! How can I party without my carefully hoarded beer money?
So, okay. I do have ten dollars in the form of two five dollar bills. I decided that if I can't go out and have fun tonight, at least I can be productive. I know! I'll do laundry!
I packed up ten dollars worth of soiled clothing and my throw rugs and headed to my laundromat, chose the machines with the least amount of detritus from previous users and got ready to rock.
After loading everything up, I discovered that the change machine isn't making change today.
No worries. There's another laundromat a block away. I'll go use theirs.
Except, when I got there, the door was padlocked shut.
Okay. I know of another laundromat about two blocks away. So I went there. This one has a lady who works on the premises, so I had to be sly.
Guess what! That machine refused by Lincolns as well. WHAT THE HELL? They weren't crumply or damp. They're perfectly unwrinkled, fairly fresh legal tender.
I was broken. Betrayed by the gods of low level commerce. I had to go BACK to the first laundromat, take my dirty clothes OUT of the machines, and slink home.
I think life would be immeasurably improved if I had my own personal washing machine. I'd rather have that than almost ANYTHING.
However!! there was ONE good thing that came out of this! As you know, I've been doing battle in fits and starts with the laundromat gauntlet now for months.
Also, the laundromat guarded by this group of assholes smells disturbingly of urine. It's not pleasant. Plus the 46 pound drunk woman is always spilling beer everywhere.
But the third laundromat I went to in my failed change hunt was fresh and clean. And blessedly free of loitering men who think that it is okay to hiss at female passerby.
So even though it will be a pain in my ASS to lug my clothes there in the future, I am going to do it.
If those fuckers follow me again, I will have to open up a can of whoop ass on them. Because that's how I roll.
xoxoxo until LATER!! kisses!
It's Friday night and I am not leaving my apartment again on this day because I can't be sure what might happen next.
It all started when my alarm clock this morning so rudely interrupted my slumber.
That's nothing unusual. But since I pushed the snooze button about 283 times, I didn't have much time to get ready and I had to drive my car to work.
Then I discovered I was out of cigarettes! One cannot partake of the breakfast of champions (coffee and cigarette, der) without half the equation.
No worries, I thought. I'll just stop by a gas station on my way to work.
HAH! The attendants at the first two were all tucked up in sleeping bags behind the cash registers, snoozing comfortably. I hadn't the heart to wake them.
At the third, the guy was awake, but completely OUT of smokes. He didn't even have cigars.
So, okay. I can deal. My quest was a failure. But I comforted myself by imagining the hot cup of coffee I was sure was in my fairly immediate future.
NOT SO FAST! I've had to go to Starbucks all this week because Marlin the coffee guy has mysteriously disappeared. Which sucks in itself because you know. STARBUCKS. But when you're jonesing for coffee, who the hell REALLY has time for principles? I'm sure some people do, but I don't.
So, I amble on down. The door is locked. Finally the guy arranging the pastries grudgingly comes to the door and says hey sorry, we're not ready yet. Come back in 15 minutes.
No can do, I say. It's 5:40 in the morning and I GOT SHIT TO DO!!
YOUR SIGN SAYS YOU'RE OPEN AT 5:30! You are located in a two block vicinity of at least three 24 hour operations. Is it not reasonable to open when you say you will with coffee brewed for your early arrivals?
GAH!
The rest of the day passed without incident.
However, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, ready to begin my new life as an official partyer, I checked my email and found that a bill that usually falls due AFTER the 15th of the month must be paid by August 14th. FOILED!! How can I party without my carefully hoarded beer money?
So, okay. I do have ten dollars in the form of two five dollar bills. I decided that if I can't go out and have fun tonight, at least I can be productive. I know! I'll do laundry!
I packed up ten dollars worth of soiled clothing and my throw rugs and headed to my laundromat, chose the machines with the least amount of detritus from previous users and got ready to rock.
After loading everything up, I discovered that the change machine isn't making change today.
No worries. There's another laundromat a block away. I'll go use theirs.
Except, when I got there, the door was padlocked shut.
Okay. I know of another laundromat about two blocks away. So I went there. This one has a lady who works on the premises, so I had to be sly.
Guess what! That machine refused by Lincolns as well. WHAT THE HELL? They weren't crumply or damp. They're perfectly unwrinkled, fairly fresh legal tender.
I was broken. Betrayed by the gods of low level commerce. I had to go BACK to the first laundromat, take my dirty clothes OUT of the machines, and slink home.
I think life would be immeasurably improved if I had my own personal washing machine. I'd rather have that than almost ANYTHING.
However!! there was ONE good thing that came out of this! As you know, I've been doing battle in fits and starts with the laundromat gauntlet now for months.
Also, the laundromat guarded by this group of assholes smells disturbingly of urine. It's not pleasant. Plus the 46 pound drunk woman is always spilling beer everywhere.
But the third laundromat I went to in my failed change hunt was fresh and clean. And blessedly free of loitering men who think that it is okay to hiss at female passerby.
So even though it will be a pain in my ASS to lug my clothes there in the future, I am going to do it.
If those fuckers follow me again, I will have to open up a can of whoop ass on them. Because that's how I roll.
xoxoxo until LATER!! kisses!
posted by Queen of Cheese | 8:25 PM
4 Comments:
that sounds like an absolutely brutal day.
where the hell has marlin gone? is he just on vacation?
and there's a second starbucks right next to that safeway in the golden gateway, but it sounds like you didn't have time for that.
also? there's one at california near drumm that opens really, really early -- at 4, or 4:30, i think. i've stopped there when doing your shift...so you could even stop on your way in, one desperate morning...
my darlings, you both frighten me away from the prospect of apartment dwelling at a time when what i need is encouragement to join you in the gritty city!
bring your laundry to my home tonight, and launder with impunity. xo, rc
i have a new post up biaaatch
check it out bitches.
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