The Realm

A Place Where Cheese Is Queen

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Location: San Francisco, CA

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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sticky Situation

As I may have mentioned, a happy event is coming up - the wedding of my lovely friend Cindy and her devoted swain Tony.

It's going to be a BIG FAT party - a destination wedding of sorts at a special overnight location in the wilds (kind of) of Oregon.

I get to have my own cabin. YEAH! Except I might get to share with Jo the dog.

Yesterday I received an invitation in the mail to a special gathering to take place at the site on the eve of the nuptials. It was sent from Cindy's future ladies in law, who, in honor of Cindy, are throwing what they call a "personal" shower. It is supposed to be a surprise (they even underlined it). Sounds fun, no?

Now Cindy is my best friend, and has been since we were just 16 years old. She HATES surprises. HATES. Even more than I do, if that's possible. However, if there was any doubt, I cleared it up last night by calling her and saying - Hey Cindy, how do you feel about surprise parties? Her reply: I HATE THEM! Okay. So, no gray areas there. I didn't tell her what her future family members are planning, because - it's a surprise. I think it is so sweet of them to plan something for her and it's obvious they love her and want to make her happy.

What is my duty as BFF here? Do I keep quiet? Do I tell her, so that she may be prepared? Do I send her a link to this blog entry? My first instinct is to keep quiet but if the situation was reversed, I'd want her to tell me.

Great Odin's Raven! WHAT TO DO????? Maybe somebody else will spill the cheese.

I just hope this festivity wraps early.

Incidentally, I don't think "personal" shower, in this case, means I should gift my friend with a marital aid. I'm sure these ladies just mean I should give Cindy a gift that isn't necessarily a bridal-type gift-like bath salts as opposed to pot-holders or whatever.

There's no way.


oh god

In other cheese: I was SICK this week! yucky. I'm getting better though.

xoxoxo top of the head kisses, to avoid germs xoxoxo

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Every Purpose

For which, there is a season.

geh. Okay. So, Happy Spring! If wasn't feeling so lazy, I'd right now search the internet for a picture of a cartoon flower to illustrate my utter happiness in the event of the vernal equinox. Like most earthlings, I love spring. Mainly because it contains my birthday. Also, I like to wear little dresses that are most appropriate for this time of year.

Anywayz. I need to come up my seasonal theme. It seems like I have to do this every other day, but whatever. Here are the choices:

1. Spring of Bling (eh, it's not 2002)
2. Sing in Spring! (yeah no)
3. It's a Spring Thing (heh)
4. Spring of Fitness and Frugality (sorry)
5. Clown Car

My lungs are feeling quite springlike, what with all the tissue in there that's being regenerated. Hooray! Soon they will be pink and smooth, with millions of healthy cilias waving about.

Speaking of frugality, it is getting a short shrift in my life right now. I am not sure why I have such a hard time holding on to my ducats. But I DO. Man, it's aggravating. You'd think I'd be rich what with all the cigarettes I'm not buying.

However, I have enough and that's all anyone really needs. I guess.

I do have a LOT of cheese in my refrigerator right now. Everytime I think about it, I get happy inside.

Today I am going to the gym after work. GOD I CAN'T WAIT!!

xoxo kisses and hugs! xoxoxo

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Answer: Brain Explosion

I'll bet it all on the daily double: What happens when you cross overt catladyism with stressballesia and add huge dose of geek?

Oh my GOD I am freaking out!! On the other hand, if this was a game of Jeopardy, I would have just cleaned up. Alas, this is NOT a game show, but my life.

Here is the source of my stress: Next month, I am off to Oregon. Hooray! and it is an extra special trip too, for my super neato and totally awesome BFF Cindy is getting married! I can't wait. But for some reason, I decided to fly there as opposed to drive, and I bought an non-refundable ticket. (WHY??? dammit) That means Carlos Muffin and Noodle have to stay at home. I know, big deal, right? I've already engaged a lovely young man (Tex' boyfriend, in fact) to come watch them. Carlos and Noodle have met him and like him.


I literally could not fall asleep last night because I was BROODING about this. Noodle was snuggled up next to me all snortling and purffling and I just thought - HOW WILL YOU GET ALONG WITHOUT ME? (Can I ask Chris to use the snot extraction bulb on her nubbin? Exactly.)

Isn't it funny how in the deepest dark of night (okay, 10:38 PM) these kinds of concerns are tortuous - but - when the sun comes up - they seem so idiotic? Of course they'll be okay! They'll probably be glad to get a break from me and my smothering, clingy love. They'll appreciate having a nice, matter of fact guy around the house handling their lives without any fuss. Noodle's whole congestion problem will probably clear up. And you KNOW Carlos will be so happy to hang out with a DUDE.

I am so glad I don't have children. Jeezus. I simply would not be able to cope.

Day 35. It occured to me that a smoke would have gone down real nice in the midst of all that stupid worrying. WHATEVER I KNOW IT'S GREAT. GO ME.

xoxoxo sulky love and reluctant kisses xoxoxoxo

Monday, March 17, 2008


At last! I am back. I haven't BEEN anywhere, mind you. I have been hibernating within my own mind. That's winter for you. But today my friend sent me a link to her newish blog which I have been slacking on checking out and -after having a quick read through her (highly amusing) entries - I realized - gee it IS kind of fun to put stuff into the ether. So here I am. Hi! Happy St. Patrick's Day! Don't forget the McGarrity's!

So while I don't promise I'll stick around - i do promise to TRY. Besides, we're coming up on Spring! Time for a whole new season of idiocy. Spring of Idiocy? Hopefully I'll think of something better. Actually, right now it's feeling like the Spring of Want. That's right. I am on day 34 of NO CIGARETTES. yeah yeah that's great and all but I keep wondering - WHY did I even start this? I miss smoking. I really really miss it. *sniffle*

I had a four day weekend. Mostly due to bad planning, but there you go. It was nice to be away from the gulag. Today I took the kitties to the vet. 200 plus ducats later, I found out they have doot doo doo .. fleas. Actually, I knew this already. I had to get them some medicines and stuff so the fleas will go away. So far, I think its working.

Here's why I like my vet. Because he gives both kitties kisses on the tops of their heads when he sees them. How can he help it, really? They ARE irresistible.

xoxoxo fuzzy kisses xoxoxoxo