The Realm

A Place Where Cheese Is Queen

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Location: San Francisco, CA

I'm fun.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006



The nice sweet Tihanna ... future mother of twins ... brought me ANOTHER birthday cake this morning! So I got to make another wish. It came personalized complete with FROSTING balloons. Yes.

And then ... yet ANOTHER cake appeared! This one concocted by Susan. It's a creamsicle cake and quite delicious. I have to share the honors on this one with Tihanna, as this is her last day at work until after the twins make their appearance. So the song was dedicated to both of us in a kind of hybrid happy birthday/happy maternity leave little song thing.

We are CAKED up!

I am totally Lost's bitch now. The finale provided quite a feast for the eyes. I provided the sandwiches and fried potatoes topped with cheese. Everyone had a great time.

Noodle is coughing and sneezing again. Poor little sickly Noodle! She got lots of playtime and brushing last night so hopefully she's snoozing comfortably now.

I went to a super fun party on Sunday. It was the day after Tex and I returned to Mexico.
She got home to discover her roommate had planned a barbecue so I went over there (after crossing the Carnavale madness that had overtaken my neighborhood).

Scott fried up all kinds of meats and there was enough beer to float a pig. I brought Stella because if I see another Corona I may barf. Anyway.

In the middle of the party my phone rang and I picked up ... why? Anyway, it was my mom, who reminded me I had to work the next day. Hi Mom! I'm forty! (still, love ya!)

I have a violin lesson tonight. Here's a surprise: I am not prepared.

On a sad note ... my teacher is moving to OREGON. what the HELL? So now I'm looking for a new violin teacher. I hope it's a boy and that he looks like Sayid. Is that too much to ask?

I kind of feel like I ate too much cake.

xoxoxo kisses!!! love!!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Grind

It's back. Or I'm back to it. Whatever.

There's no denying I'd rather be lying on the beach, a bucket of beer and attractive mostly non-English speaking guy by my side at this moment.

But there is something nice about getting back to my normal, albeit somewhat dull compared to a tropical holiday, life.

For instance ... I slept surrounded by fur last night in a comfortable little kitty cat sandwich. That would have SUCKED in Mexico ... but fuzzy living pillows with paws here in cold little San Francisco is a welcome addition to any nap.

Yes I'm back at work -- always a source of angst -- but I get to see my peeps! I even was happy going to get my coffee this morning because I was jonesing for a decent croissant.

And the whole newsroom sang "Happy Birthday" to me today and provided an official birthday cake with candles. Hooray! The celebration isn't over yet!

Terry gave me the LOST tape so I'm going to go get some buns after work and have a turkey burger and mashed potato FEAST tonight.

I have confirmed that Sayid appears with his shirt off in this episode. And he goes swimming! What more can one ask? Right now, I really can't think of anything more pleasant.

dooty dooty doot DOO!

xoxoxo kisses!!

Monday, May 29, 2006

Foam Party

You'll be glad to know I made it home from my sojourn to Mexico in one piece ... one year older, not much wiser (thanks to all those Dos Equis) and as pale as ever!

Now, they don't have a saying for Puerto Vallarta like they do Las Vegas. But they should. And because this is the QUEENDOM OF CHEESE I shall pass emergency legislation to include PV under the rule of what happens there, stays there. Besides, our hellish flight home involved a stop in Las Vegas, so there you go.

I CAN tell you that my birthday was perhaps the best I ever had, or at least, the best in recent memory. Tex took me out for dinner. You know on Survivor when the winner of the award challenge gets to eat some fabulous dinner on the beach, with the table right on the sand, candles, and fancy schmancy food? That was the scene. Except it was at sunset, there were many tables and no Jeff Probst. However, I was treated to much love and attention by all the many diners ... one of whom enlisted a mariachi band to play a birthday song, and another who sent cake and ice cream my way. And Tex, of course, who feted me like a queen! Meantime, scads of various temporary friends kept me from facing reality with a never-ending stream of tequila. YES!!

The nicest people in the world are in P-V. Except for this one lady who was actually from Amsterdam. So she doesn't count. Other than that ... nope. all good.

We didn't actually attend a foam party. But we had many to choose from, had we wanted to let open bar fueled strangers do some undercover groping. I just like to say the words "foam party."

There was also a thong contest while we were there. We didn't take part in that either.

Noodle and Messy got along fine while I was gone. They didn't act very excited to see me.

Maybe they didn't realize they missed my birthday.

xoxoxo kisses!!!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Who knew

I have figured out why I don't have a life.

It's because I work!! Then I spend every frigging weekend catching up on sleep. My mother likes to remind me that I've always needed an ungodly amount of sleep ... so even WITH provigil, I'm a total loss.

So. I have had two days off and have since rediscovered the world and its similarity to oysters.

My vacation began with ANTM finale and Lost BACK TO BACK on Wednesday. AND my bitch won! Hooray!

Thursday I attended Tex's day before her birthday party. Nadia came over to meet Noodle beforehand and she gave me a birthday present!! I got super sparkly flip flops she decorated herself and a sarong to wear in Mexico! Righteous because I can't for the life of me remember where I put my old sarongs from Hawaii. Now I have a coverup! AND one of a kind sparkle footwear! I will be so fancy. (the shoes and sarong match as they are both a fetching shade of hot dark pink.)

Then we went to the party and I GOT DRUNK OFF MY FACE. Dude. I don't think that's happened for years. Okay. Months. YES!

Today I went to Tex's real birthday Sushi lunch at Blowfish. After, we went to one of Tex's friend's houses to visit her pet bunny. It had a very wiggly nose. We got to feed it corn chips.

This may be a magical bunny. It lives in the backyard amongst the flowers. It dug a hole for itself NEXT TO A DECORATIVE LOOKING GLASS. Weird!!

The bunny's person lives one block from me. She said I could come visit them whenever!!!

I have to sign off because I need to get some sleep before the final gathering this evening at 12 G's .... And by GOD I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. This never happens. Normally, Friday night is my night to be a loner. Not this week!!

So, if I quit my job i could have a life. However, I would be homeless. It's a tough call.

And I wouldn't get the chance to spend time with some of my favorite peeps who also happen to be my coworkers.

Okay. I'll keep my job.

xoxoxo kisses!!!!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


It's official.

I have run out of things to say.

I know that seems impossible, but it is apparently true. As you can see, I have not updated my little corner of cheese in nearly a week.

So. Yes. hmm. erm. I feel like Austin Powers. I think I've lost my mojo.

Here are some of the things I've done over the last six days.

1. Spilled an entire glass of red wine on my couch in shock while watching T-V. (Lost, if you're interested)

2. Hung up my living room curtains. (they look reaalllll nice.)

3. Bought a cowboy hat, a flowery beach towel and silver sequinned flip flops for my upcoming trip to P-V.

4. Flaked out, yet again, on Sunday afternoon plans to lend support to Dean at his weekly gig. sorry Dean.

5. Took a long bike ride during the hottest part of the day, then went to a certain natural food co-op where I'm freshly irritated by the help each time I'm there.

6. Used BART and my bike to get to Berkeley, in order to spend seven hours watching an ANTM marathon, complete with endless snacks and tons of beer. Damn, that was pleasant.

7. Read a book called "The Last Duel" about the last royally sanctioned duel to the death in France. It happened in 1386, between a knight and a squire. Yes, the Middle Ages sound like a party!

8. Laughed mightily at the MK Letourneau follow up in People magazine.

9. Had dinner al Fresco with Mari at my local tacqueria. mmm flautas!

10. Got looped on one beer at Pops.

Today I am going to go to the Post Office after work!


Please don't worry about me. I am just a bit low energy lately. I need a vacation.

kisses!!!! xoxoxoxo

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Looking up!

That's what things are doing today!

I have my provigil, I am off to Mexico in a week and a half ... how could I not be jumping up and down for joy??

So there you go.

The only dark cloud ... something that actually gave me SERIOUS pause about booking this holiday ... the LOST season finale is going to be shown while I'm out of the country.

In fact, it's to be broadcast on my birthday.

I know they have TEEVEEs in Mexico. I'm not a complete dumbass. But...will our low-rent hellhole have satellite capabilities? And even if it does, will my fun loving, adventure seeking non Lost watching travel companion ALLOW me to stay in a hotel room for two prime hours on my birthday in order to let me cheese up with some cheesey Lost cheese? Probably not.

Terry's taping the whole thing, so she'll loan it to me after the fact. But I'm still kind of sad.

It's official. I'm a loser.

Moving along. Here's a show I'm sorry I missed, and am so happy it was taped!

The lovely and eloquent Miss Nadia is involved with the group, ASATA, (Alliance for South Asians Taking Action) which is working with other groups for immigrants rights. She made an appearance last month at the Federal Building rally! ((Where was I? Probably lazing around on my couch, as I'm wont to do of a Sunday afternoon.)) But her address to the crowd regarding the scapegoating of immigrants in this age of "terra" has been saved for posterity.

You may watch it by clicking here.

WOW!! I KNOW her!! that's pretty cool.

In today's cat headlines:

Noodle has to go on a diet. I thought Messy was overweight because of her big bones.
But as it turns out, Messy has unhealthy eating habits, and she's passed them on to her hairball.

And now, Noodle's a chub.


kisses!!! xoxoxo

Saturday, May 06, 2006


A rough week, this first week without Provigil. To be sure.

Perhaps a week in Mexico will serve as my own private sleep rehab. Hah! not.

I admit, I am sad to be leaving my little Noodle for a week. Not so much Messy. Though I will say, if the past is any indicator, I'll miss her while I'm gone.

Luckily, Mari has generously agreed to move into the house of scattered fur and keep them company while I'm off gallivanting. So at least I won't have to worry that they're lonely.

I learned something interesting recently, during a random web surfing session.

Cats are evil, and should not be kept as pets by "true christians."

I'll leave out the boring bible bits and the bad influence cats have had on man down through the ages, and just post this important information about cats of the modern day:

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits notbefitting a Christian household: coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) andwidespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices,substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that 'neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.' (1 Cor. 6:9-11)

Full text can be read here.

Good Lord.

Does this mean I need to rethink my plans for a future of cat spinsterdom?

Wait! I'm not Christian! phew!

Clearly, the writer of the above tract never took Anthropology 101, if he/she thinks cats are the only species that are not endowed with Godly chastity and decorum.

That class wasn't called Monkey Porn on my campus for nothing.

In addition, I can tell you that tortoises are exhibitionists. They don't care WHO'S watching.

xoxoxo kisses. No fornication though. sorry.

Monday, May 01, 2006

May Day Poem


It's the First Day of May!

All is lovely near the Bay!

Horses in their paddocks are eating Hay!

The sun is giving off quite a Ray!

All around, people are saying "Yay!"

Some are making things from Clay.

Others just went out to Play.

Some are in museums, checking out the Monet Display.

Rock climbers are looking for people to Belay.

Others are eating ice cream with Tom Delay.

That's kind of a crappy poem. Sorry.

This weekend I met a little dog named Floppy. He was cute and had floppy ears. Hence the name.

I also had to go swimsuit shopping for my upcoming holiday to the Love Boat's Port of Call. Puerto Vallarta Baby!!

It wasn't very much fun at all. Swimsuit shopping is not a happy activity, like shoe shopping. In fact, it is pretty unpleasant. So I'm glad I got that out of the way.

Noodle is taking medicines again. What if I have to get her rhinoplasty? Her nubbin is just too small to get the job done. But she's growing like weed! Yay Noodle!

I finally went to the library and found out what I owe them for stolen books. Which is 200 big ones. But, if I bring in the police report from when Kerplumpy was broken into, the library guy says they may forgive the debt. Since it wasn't my fault they were stolen.

I really want to make use of librarial services again, so this is exciting news.

PSA: Don't forget to support immigration today!

If you're me, this means NO SHOPPING. Not even for beer. (sob) But it's the right thing to do.

xoxoxo kisses and love!