The Mysterious C. Muffin

He kind of looks like Fabio in this one.

Or ... he's Secret Agent Carlosimo .... licensed to thrill.

xoxoxo kisses and catnip xoxoxo

Leisure Wear

Here's the tiniest teacup.

She's wearing a Velour Leisure Suit!!

Have you ever seen anything cuter?

Her equally cute twin brother is in the background hitting something with a kitchen whisk.

AW!!! ber schnerbel!

xoxo

Cats or Monkeys?

Here is a picture of Noodle and Carlos Muffin.

I had just finished combing out Noodle. Carlos observed the whole procedure and apparently decided I didn't do a thorough job ... because he jumped on top of her and started licking her ears.

He's an ear freak.

Black cats are hard to photograph but if you squint you can see his tongue.

You can also see poor little Noodle's rotting eyeball. It is getting better!! As soon as she's up to snuff ... I will totally post a pretty picture of my little princess.

xoxoxo snorgles and love xoxoxoxo

oh BLAH

It's back to business as usual. The Yule has Tided. And here I am, a little bit fatter and a whole lot pissier.

So ... as we've just had a Solstice ... you know what that means. A whole new season to name!!

Here are the choices:















Winter of Whirliness

Winter of Weirdness

Winter of Fitness and Frugality (barf)

Winter of Napping and Joy


My first pick would be the Winter of Napping and Joy. (duh) But, unfortunately, Fitness and Frugality are as necessary as ever! Will I EVER be rich and thin??? or ... moderately well off and in shape?? I can only throw it out to the Universe and let it decide. I think I need a mantra.

Oh Universe
Make me stop
being such a pig.

hah hah. No. That's not very self supportive.

Okay ... so ... I think I'll have to go with fitness and frugality.

POO! wah!!!! It's not fair that I finally got rid of my pimples only to obtain an inability to metabolize cheetos and beer! it's SUCKY!

However, it could be worse. What if I was breaking out AND putting on weight ... all at the same time? THAT would not do at all.

And, Tihanna invited me to go to her hot yoga classes with her. oooh! Maybe that will help.

This is going to be a long season. *whimper*

xoxoxo fat sweaty hugs and kisses xoxoxo

Weirdness

It is Yuletide!

Hooray! Happy Yuletide.

Yule = wheel
Tide= time

So what this time of year really means is that the wheel of life continues to turn and this is the time we stop to observe how nice the last revolution was and to make plans for the next prosperous turning.

It's also when people bring all sort of weird food into the newsroom, and then ... because NOTHING (not even starhellhole) is open, you find yourself eating stale cake donuts, questionable crackers and admittedly delicious truffles for breakfast.

It's not my fault! I stopped at the 24 hour Safeway last night to get a hot pocket for this morning. But the frigging Safeway was closed!! what the Hell?

I discovered something surprising last week. One day I decided to google "Mr. Carlos Muffin" to see if the picture of Carlos on Cute Overload would show up in the search results. That post actually was not on the Google list. But. Guess WHAT? A couple of other people had posted the Carlos photo on their blogs and on forums. And, much to my surprise, I discovered a myspace denizen whose name was ... get this ... Mr. Carlos Muffin!

I am WAY too old for a myspace account ... but I do have one. Yeah yeah. So I wrote to this guy to tell him ... Hey! you have a doppelganger! He is small and furry and super cuddly and has four legs!

So he wrote back and said ... actually he admitted ... he co-opted the name "Mr. Carlos Muffin" for himself after he saw it on Cute Overload.

Hmm. Kind of flattering, I guess ... I mean, I have mad skilz (heh) when it comes to naming animals. Princess Noodle Moppet.

Or maybe, as like attracts like - dork attracts dork.

The question is .... How can I parlay this into a career?

Preferably one where I'm tucked up in bed on Christmas morning rather than sitting here doing nothing but nursing a big fat headache.

gah.

xoxoxo happy yuletide kisses xoxoxo

Good Morning!

Here is Mr. Carlos Muffin! This is a photo from his first photo shoot using my new camera.

He looks a little weird here but I promise he really does have pupils.

Happy holidays to all! I have a big day ahead of visiting various peeps.

I have to do it today because guess what.

That's right. I have to WORK tomorrow.

Actually, it won't be so bad. Barring a major disaster, there won't be a lot of news. And we will be served a holiday dinner.

My horoscope today says I need to relax and focus on myself. Hooray for astrology.com!

xoxoxo kisses snorgles and lots of peace and brotherly love! xoxoxoxo

Erase Bookmarks Now

This is your only warning.

I got my Christmas present yesterday from Dick and Sally. Guess what they sent me? A Digital Camera!!!!

You know what that means.

Yes. Endless photographs of Noodle and Carlos Muffin. Which will get posted here. Which means you may want to stop checking the Realm if overt cat-ladyism makes you feel funny.



I also got some fleece pajamas! and a box of chocolates. The kitties got a special toy called a wiggle worm. Carlos has totally been hogging it, as one might expect.

Pickle sent me a book, which means with the candy and comfy jams -I am SORTED for a long holiday's nap. Yay!

Jelly suggested I just change the name of this blog from The Realm to The Realm of Kitties. But no. I want to feel free to talk about other stuff too. Can I help it that I have become such an avoider of human contact that all I have to talk about my funny little kitty cats?

Actually, I'm considering getting a dwarf hamster. (please see above picture to see what such a creature would look like. This is a baby one. He's nibbling on a chunk of broccoli!) NOT TO WORRY!! he'd be kept in a cage, well out of Carlos' reach. I probably won't. But I would LIKE to. Actually what I'd really like to get is a guinea pig!! they are so cute. You can take them to the park because they won't run away from you and they are the size of a very tiny puppy. They even have leashes for g. pigs.



I am working on my New Year's Resolutions. So far, I don't have any concrete plans.

But I am trying to figure out a good way to integrate more sociability and flavor, if you will, into my current lifestyle. Such as. There should be a rule that I must leave the house at least once a day, TWICE if it is a workday.

Actually, I LIKE people! well most. I mean, I like my peeps. The real problem is, I am addicted to being comfy AND I'm lazy. That is a horrible combination

Okay. The first step is admitting you have a problem!

Hello my name is Diana, and I am a featherbedandfuzzysockalholic.

Do you think they have a group for that??

xoxoxo cozylittlehugs and kisses!! xoxoxo

Anyone have any Vicodin?

What TO DO??

So tonight is our holiday party ... the company festivus, if you will.

The question ... should I go?

Pros:
1. Chance to wear a cute outfit
2. Get out the house
3. Free food
4. Neat venue

Cons:
1. Only two free drinks; cash only bar if I want more
2. It is TUESDAY night
3. I have to get up early tomorrow
4. It's cold as hell out
5. No parking so I'd have to take pub transpo
6. I don't have anything to wear
7. Jelly's not going
8. I'm TIRED

Here's what's hanging me up. I promised several peeps I'd attend. Also, I R-S-V-P'd ... are they going to deduct the cost of those two drinks from my paycheck?

I don't think I would have fun. Therefore, forget it.

But ... but ... but ... my horoscope has been advising me to stop being such a hermit all the time. PISS!

CRAP!!

I suppose I would go if I had enough money for a cab. However, if I spend money on a cab, then I wouldn't be able to buy extra drinks.

Of course, it may be that two drinks are plenty for a night out on the town on a school night.

Right?

Except, this is a work function. It should go without saying that extra drinks are needed in order to dull the pain.

pooop. I don't know what to do.

xoxoxo ball of confusion xoxoxo

coo. coo.

That's the noise Noodle makes.

She doesn't meow, she just makes cooing noises and sighs. Lately she's also been making crying noises because she is tired of being medicated for her rotting eyeball.

But GUESS what! I can now see a border of orange (her iris color) under the yucky grey part so I know she is getting better!

We are going to the animal opthmalogist today for a check up and I hope they tell me she's going to be good as new soon.

I got another really neat present from my secret santa! Two pretty cocktail glasses with a special design on them. COOL! Holly gave me some pumpkin liqueur awhile ago ... NOW ... I am going to add a little vanilla vodka and cream and rim my pretty new glasses with sugar and pumpkin pie spice and put a sprinkling of nutmeg on top. Yes! Christmas Dinner!!

Angela and I made the best holiday greeting in the history of holiday greetings today. When you hear it, you will laugh. Or else you will think. My God. dorks.

xoxoxo happy holidays!! xoxoxo

TAGGED at last!

Guess What?

I have been 'tagged' by Miss Sunshine State, a-k-a JMai. heh heh.

So here's the cheese: I need to write six truly weird things about myself then ... in turn 'tag' six MORE peeps who will then have to do the same thing and so on, and so on, etc.

Okay. Six weird things. Only six? Jeez.

1. I HATE peas!!!!!!!!! blegh! My friend Cindy can't believe it, because peas are so "cute." Indeed, they are small and round and green, but their cute form disguises the horrible little burst of nastiness that they truly are.

2. I LOVE it when it rains for days on end and is all gray and drizzly and gloomy out.

3. I wish I could go out on a date with John Stamos.

4. I wish leg warmers would come back into style. (hah hah hah)

5. Nothing would make me happier than having the power to turn big animals such as dolphins, hippos, giraffes and the like into smaller versions of themselves (like, say the size of a dwarf hamster) and be able to keep them in appropriate containers as pets.

6. When I was little, I wanted my name to be "Mashed Potatoes."

There are MANY more, but these are the first that came to mind.

Okay ... Gah! hmm. Okay how about Jelly, the Loud Corral ... uh ... Terry? (i don't remember you doing this one, but it IS early) ... Michael (ha ha ha ha ha) ... crap. AND ANYONE ELSE WHO FEELS LIKE IT!! If you aren't a blogger, you can put your weirdnesses in my comments list. Pickle, Lolita, Mari, Nadia, Shelly, Anne, etc. ..... Let's GO.

I just broke the rules by inviting that, but guess what? I don't care!!

I did a LOT of laundry yesterday afternoon. Just so you can get an idea of how much ... I spent approximately $27 dollars!! jeezus!! I could have just gone to Ross with that money and bought seven new underpants and a towel.

Noodle is getting better albeit VERY slowly. She is NOT happy about being medicated every other second, but I am determined to make her healthy again. Sorry Noodle!!

My secret santa gave me the cutest thing today. It is a big kitty food bowl with a cute purple kitty looking over the edge. Aw! Perfect for the cat lady. Thanks Secret Santa!!

xoxoxo kisses, and love and meds when you are sick xoxoxo

All y'All

Thanks for all the support and kind words, peeps!! :o)!!!

The good news is, I'm OVER IT. My three day weekend allowed me to realize that it really doesn't matter.

The bad news is, I've got something ever more serious and worrying to think about.

It seems Noodle's little eye is more damaged than I had thought.

The normal vet told me to prepare her (and myself) for a future as a pirate.

But, just when things looked darkest ... The Universe came through! In the form of financial help AND a highly skilled pet opthamologist who has given me a much happier prognosis. It seems Noodle is perfectly capable of regenerating her eyeball but she needs many medicines and lots of time to do it.

So ... she's not out of the woods yet, but it's looking a LOT more hopeful than at this time yesterday. Hooray!!!

The vet put her in a cone. hah hah.

xoxo kisses!! xoxoxo

More Assholery

Two posts in one day! woo doo dee hoo hoo!!

I parked my car behind this big ol' Murrican made pick up truck today.

It was sporting two bumper stickers.

One said: "Speak English, or get the fuck out!"

The other said: "If it's got wheels or tits, it'll be a problem."

Gee, do you think he gets laid?

My GOD.

xoxoxoxo

Cubicle Wars

I have a co-worker who really hates me.

I am not quite sure why I inspire rage in this individual ... but there you go.

His latest zinger came about during a discussion of a benny I get that's caused no end of consternation among the powers that be.

You see, the precedent was set long before I landed this position, and if you try to take it away from me, I will go to battle.

ANYWAYS. When he found out that HE was NOT to receive this same benefit, even though he doesn't DO my job, well - he was NOT happy.

"Okay" he says to me. "Let me get this straight. I come in at the same time as you, work three times harder that you and actually DO A GOOD JOB ... and I don't get this, but you do?"

Motherfucker say what?

I don't care if he thinks I'm the dumbest slacker in the world. That's his deal, and I can handle it.

What I don't get is why he thinks it is okay to say something like that to me.

Do I not have feelings? If I am cut, do I not bleed?

Maybe because I have a history of not reacting to the extreme rudeness he sends my way, it creates in him a need to go to ever more further heights in an attempt to get me to lose my cool?

Fuck that, man.

I will NEVER understand people.

***************************************
On a happy note: Yay! A-N-T-M! sort of an anticlimax but at least my bitch won.

xoxoxoxo kisses xoxoxoxo

Fun Things

Have you ever seen the comic strip "Pickles?"

The name alone would be reason to love it.

But it doesn't have anything to DO with pickles. Or gherkins or sauerkraut or even kim chee.
It's about these two old peeps and their pet cat. Whose name is MUFFIN.

Today, the lady gave Muffin a perm so she and Muffin would more closely resemble each other. I guess using her hot curlers on Muffin (as happened in the strip yesterday) wasn't enough.

A few days ago, she put pink softpaws (those claw tippy things) on Muffin.

The husband appears to think the wife is on crack and the cat seems to as well.

I don't know why I find it amusing. Probably because deep down, I'm a HUGE GEEK.

Oh wait. That's common knowledge already.


In other news ...

I got an e-mail from Anne, informing me that Benny Beaver's female analog wasn't named Betty but was actually known as Bernice.

Whoops. She also says Bernice is no longer with Benny (no word on what led to the break-up). But Benny is NOT happy with his new single life because now he looks like a mean bastard instead of a happy, chubby, oversized guinea pig.

Well, as they say, you can't go home again.


Tonight's the NIGHT!! The A-N-T-M finale. Who will win??

The anticipation is killing me.

If you'd like to enhance your A-N-T-M viewing experience, may I suggest you click on the following link?

www.fourfour.typepad.com

The guy in charge of that blog may be my male doppelganger. Not only is he a freak for the Tyra action, he keeps as a pet an exotic shorthair cat named Winston!! I suggest you peruse the site, with a special eye for the Winston posts. There are lots of films and pictures. You can see Winston eating mashed potatoes, meowing plaintively, and striking a variety of adorable poses.

I need a camera and video camera so I can provide the world with pics and flicks of Carlos and Noodle vogueing and stuff.

I think Noodle is actually cuter than Carlos in real life since she's so dainty and has the smallest nose in the world.

But it evens out, because Carlos is extremely photogenic and constantly doing silly things worth recording.

He is highly interested in plumbing, and comes running when he senses a toilet will be flushed. He MUST be allowed to put his little paws on the seat and watch the whole procedure.

He also has an unholy need to try to climb into the refrigerator whenever I open it up.

When I'm sitting at my computer at home, he likes to crawl up my shoulder and plop himself onto my head.

One of the nicest things about Carlos though is that he keeps me company in the morning while I get ready for work. He sits on the toilet lid and purrs and purrs ... and every once in awhile he puts his front paws on me like a little puppy dog.

AW!! he's such a love bug!!

Noodle is more self contained and dignified, and therefore, does not allow herself to be silly. Nor does she let Carlos anger or worry her. She is so zen. She is Noodle, and that's all she needs to be.

I am SO lucky! One of the reasons I like the Winston owning Tyra watching guy is because he too gushes and moans on about his kitties.

I'd ask him to marry me, but he has a boyfriend.

dammit!!!

xoxo love and kisses xoxoxo

Beaves

For one year, I was a Beaver.

That is, I attended school at Oregon State University, home of the BEAVERS!

There was a bar called the Beaver Hut and a giant wooden beaver statue in the commons.

The best thing was Benny and Betty Beaver, the school mascots.

This school was so weird that they locked you OUT of the dorm on weekend nights after 2 -AM.

I personally think it was a scam cooked up by fraternity presidents in cahoots with dormitory officials.

Freshman girls drunk on everclear punch smack dab in the middle of sheep poop central NEED to be able to get into the dorms after a big night out at frat row.

Or else ... where are they supposed to sleep? In (shudder) some stank hole in the warren of rooms on the fourth floor of the Dorka Rapea house?

No THANKS. I actually have a funny story involving being locked out of the dorm. My solution aimed at getting me inside actually cost every girl that lived there (it was NOT a co-ed dorm) a highly anticipated ice cream social.

But I digress.

The REASON i'm nattering on about OSU is because I actually spoke to the only person I retain from that ugly year ... the only bright spot in the hell that was my purgatory in Beaver land, served before I actually moved south to Eugene HOME OF THE DUCKS woo woo.

yes! Isn't it NEATO when you haven't talked to an old friend for years and years and suddenly you're talking to them again and its like no time (or hardly any) has passed at all?

The best part is ... she's going to come to the Bay Area for a visit!! Hooray!

Anne lived on my floor in that dorm, so I can't complain too much about getting stuck there.

Here's something else about that dorm. You were not allowed to have boys in your room past midnight (in Corvallis, boys are not able to perform sexually until the clock strikes twelve. I think that was the reasoning behind that rule.)

But unfortunately, the third person in me and Cindy's (who bailed after two terms, thanks CINDY!) little pooky loving group was a BOY. We didn't feel like hanging out at HIS all boys dorm (where, for some reason, there was NO rule about opposite sex peeps staying all night) but YUCK because we didn't want to have to deal with the fools that lived there. So the boy was in our room, hanging out, studying (uh yeah) and partying like a rock star pretty much every night.

So the R-A finally figured out what we were up to ... and every night forced her way into our room ... to make sure he left. It got to the point where the R-As were inspecting our closets regularly for contraband boy-flesh.

Does it surprise you to know that Cindy and I were known as the biggest troublemakers of Buxton Hall?

So of course Anne wanted to hang out with us!! who could blame her?

The moral of this pointless story: Irresponsibility and breaking the rules can pay off in the form of lasting friendship.

xoxoxo much love and many garbage buckets of everclear xoxoxoxo

Sumptuous

So I'm FINALLY reading this book I've been meaning to get to for YEARS.

It is called "A Distant Mirror" and it is about life in 14th century Europe.

Man, what a hellhole. Ick.

There are all kinds of yucky things about Medieval life. You know, the Plague, the 100 Years War, pogroms, crusades and torture, to name a few.

They also had something called sumptuary laws.

As you may recall learning in Western Civ, sumptuary laws dictated what you could wear and what accessories you were allowed to own based on your "estate."

So basically, royals and nobles could have all manner of jewels and decorations on their clothing.

The clergy as well could have ermine robes and ruby rings and other pretty sparkly things.

But peasants were SOL. They could .. for the most part ... only wear brown and black clothes with no manner of adornment. They couldn't have fun shoes or nice pretty things in their homes.

Now, of course, many peasants didn't give a rat's ass ... because they were pretty poor to begin with. But even members of the peasant and growing merchant class who DID have decent incomes were subject to these laws.

The book says the church supported these laws because the big cheeses wanted the poor masses to tithe any extra dinero instead of spending it on nice or comforting things.

WHAT the HELL?

That is uncool. Thank GOD the 21st Century allows the proletariat to shop at Target.

They have sparkly shoes, belts and everything for reasonable prices. AND it is okay for all and sundry to sport as many sparkles and gems as taste will allow.

Stupid medieval buttholes. So unfair. That kind of crap would NEVER be tolerated in the Land of Cheese.

I have my sparkly shoes on today, so I'm feeling a bit defensive. If I were a 14th century peasant, they could right now be cutting off my feet. DUDE.

It's a good book though.


**********
Noodle seems to be improving!! Hooray! Her eye is still all covered in some gross cataracty looking thing but she seems much more cheerful. She spent the afternoon playing and snuggling with her little buddy Carlos instead of hiding in the closet. I think it's progress.


***********
Do you think it is weird to give roles to the items in your lunch?

Today I have two mandarin oranges, a bosc pear and a hot pocket pot pie. I cast the fruits as a herd and the pie thingy as the shepherd.

Now I have to decide ... do I slaughter the herd first, or should I kill the shepherd and let the herd run wild?

My co-worker at the desk next door heard me muttering about it and didn't hesitate to inform me that I need help.

WHAT? GOD.

I can't wait for my nap.

xoxoxo kisses and sparkles for ALL in the Realm of the Cheese!!xoxoxo

Hooray Universe!!

The Universe is indeed a strange and wondrous place.

Here's a happy story that clearly illustrates its powerful, yet mysterious ways.

I have a good friend who is going through something of a tough time these days. Among OTHER things she's dealing with ... there's a bit of a shortage of the ducats around her house. No need to mention WHY, suffice it to say, it's not this girl's fault.

Anyway, she was a tidy sum short of making her expenses this month and I think we ALL know how that feels. Yucky!!

So, in a worried state, yet ready for festiveness, our heroine headed to a Thanksgiving celebration at another friend's home.

At the party, she had a nice time chatting with the mother of the woman who was throwing the shindig. My friend has come to the aid of this family, when its members were in need in the past, and there's much love all around.

Well, when she got home from the gathering, what did my friend find slipped into her purse but a holiday card from the mom-lady ALONG with a check sizable enough to get her through the month with a little left over.

YES! is that not FABULOUS? That's such a lovely example of the Universe Coming Through at the exact moment in time help is most needed!

Every time I think of this, I get all happy inside.

That's my Thanksgiving story this year.

********************************************************
Unfortunately, I have not so happy news to report today as well.

My poor little Noodle has an ulcer in her Eyeball. Ugh. It looks gross and like it hurts too. Poor Noods! She went to the vet on Saturday and got some medicines. She has to go back today to make sure they're taking effect. I hope they work because I don't think Noodle would appreciate having to wear an eyepatch.


It has come to my attention that I need to set something straight for all y'all who have known me for years.

Yes. For about four years, starting in 1992, I made Thanksgiving dinner for my colleagues. Let me make this clear. I did NOT do it out of the goodness of my heart. No, I did it because I got THREE comp days for doing it. (dinner for 16 is NO joke) (plus the company paid for the ingredients) (the dinner was needed because this joint is open on Thanksgiving).

You see, as the program coordinator (the job I DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE AND HAVEN'T HAD FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS) I was responsible for getting the dinner to the people who were working in the newsroom on Thanksgiving Day. It didn't matter HOW I did it, whether I bought it, ordered it from a restaurant, or made it myself. I JUST HAD TO GET IT FOR THEM.

I chose to make it myself because of the comp day factor. If I bought it elsewhere, I didn't get three comp days, I would only get one.

That little duty effectively ended in 1996. TEN years ago. So no. I did NOT make the Thanksgiving dinner for the newsroom this year. I didn't do it last year either, nor for the eight years prior to that.

So please DO NOT ASK ME WHETHER I MADE DINNER FOR THE NEWSROOM!!! I have had **SIX** jobs since I was in the position where that was even a possibility and I wouldn't do it again, for love OR money. Or comp days, for that matter. And there's no way I would do it again because IT IS NO LONGER PART OF MY JOB DESCRIPTION to arrange holiday meals for journalists. That's because MY JOB IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW.


To review:

I have a completely DIFFERENT JOB NOW.

THAT IS NOT MY JOB ANYMORE and HASN'T BEEN for a LONG LONG time.

Thank you for listening.

xoxoxo love, kisses, but NO frigging t-g dinner for you xoxoxoxo

Happy T-Giving!!

Oh BOY!!

Thanksgiving is definitely my favorite holiday!

(except for my birthday but whatever)

That's because I LOVE mashed potatoes. I made my smashies last night and they are all sitting happily in my refrigerator ... waiting for me to leave work and insert them into a warm oven, where they will warm up and fluff up and make me happy inside.

I put a LOT of butter in them because that is the best part. Also, I sprinkled them with parsley so they are attractive to look at as well as yummy to eat.

For now, however, I am chained to my desk in the writers' gulag, utterly alone.

Well, except for the co-worker who just asked me ... what am I thankful for?

hmmm.

GOOD question!! Let's see.

Well. Let's make a list.

1. Noodle and Carlos M.!
2. Feather beds and flannel pajamas
3. All the happy and nice people I know! (a.k.a family and friends)
4. Mini livestock
5. An affordable and nice home to live in
6. A job that is fun and not too taxing
7. Bunnies
8. Flowers
9. Purple shoes
10. The way ginger smells

There are a million more, but those are what I thought of first. So there you have it.

For the first time in many many years, I do NOT have to work on the Friday AFTER Thanksgiving. That means I have a three day weekend to look forward to.

Now THAT is something to be thankful for.

Happy Holidays my Peeps!!

xoxoxo much love and many many kisses! xoxoxo

doody doot doo

Terry Loli and I had drinks with our new friend Jmai the other night!

It was super neato to meet little Miss Sunshine State! She's very nice and fun. Thanks for visiting us Jmai!

I did something singularly stupid that night though. I had a couple of cocktails, then ... as is my wont ... switched to beer.

Four beers later, I realized I was drinking the non-alcoholic kind.

The dumb thing is ... I have a limited budget for party action so why was I dropping money on near beer? der.

Oh well.

Guess what else? Carlos and Noodle are in LOVE. It is so cute.

I am an excellent matchmaker, I must say.

I am in charge of the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving this year. Don't think I don't know how awesome that responsiblity is. I am going to make my very yummy special smashy bake. I cannot WAIT!

xoxoxo love and mashed potatoes for all xoxoxoxo

A Star Turn

Mr. Carlos Muffin and I are SuperStar Models.

Check it OUT!! (admittedly, you kind of have to squint)


xoxoxoxoxo happy hugs and kisses! xoxoxoxoxo

A couple couplets

Could ANYTHING be nicer than the Ides of November?
If there is something better please help me remember

A paycheck in my account to generate feelings of joy
All my bills paid with some left over for shoes! -doh

I am a GEEK!! oh well. Things are looking up. My figurative groin is healing. That's a good thing because come FRIDAY Mercury is direct and I have to get off my ass! piss, but also, a welcome change.

I had lunch with Terry yesterday! We had our bunless burgers except I got a modified bun in the form of toast. It was good but I think I prefer BUNLESS action!

Lolita cut my hair and I have received good feedback from the peeps who see me regularly. I am not used to it yet but Angela got me some special styling spray so maybe tomorrow it'll be cuter. Lo did a good job but I am NOT a shorthair person.

But that's the cool thing about hair!! It GROWS.

It's not like she gave me a tattoo over my kitchen sink using a straight pin and some ink from a broken ballpoint. Gah!

I find it helps to put one's concerns into perspective.

Speaking of perspective, these last few days of Mercury's backward journey are providing me with an excellent opportunity to right wrongs as well as rethink decisions I've made. It's a good feeling to forgive AND apologize and ask for forgiveness when appropriate -- so thanks Mercury!

Here's something kind of fun. Jmai will be in our neck of the woods this weekend and Terry, me and maybe even Jelly are going to treat her to a cocktail!

PARTY!!

xoxoxo kisses and love xoxoxo

kicked in the groin

Life kind of sucks sometimes.

Oh well. Nowhere to go but up!!

xoxoxoxo love and tiny little half hearted hugs xoxoxoxoxo

EDITED TO ADD:

Sorry! I am OKAY! Nothing happened, really -- just life's little disappointments catching up, as they sometimes do.

I expect to be reaching for the sun as a fresh flower at the end of a strong and happy stem within a couple of days (or at least by the time Mercury is back to normal) .

Yes!!

The election is over! That is a fact worth celebrating! Among other political developments.

And, even better .... tonight ... do I even need to say it?? YES. Lost and ANTM. I am going to soak up all the fun because after this, Lost goes on hiatus for GOD knows how long.

poop. Whatever, Lost. You suck. So there.

Still. What am I going to look forward to NOW? wah!!

But - don't cry for me, Argentina. I have tonight. And I'm going to make a giant feast, which will include a sandwich and tater tots.

And, maybe an ice cream bar.

I VOTED last night, by the way. Yes. I took part in the Ritual of the People. My ballot was the 1000-th to be inserted into the ballot box at my polling place. But did they have a prize on hand for me? NO. I DID receive two "I Voted" stickers though. So I guess that's something.

I know, I know, having a free and democratic society is the REAL prize.

hah hah hah hah. Pretty much everything I voted for won, by the way. Except I did NOT vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger -- and Proposition 87, (taxing oil production to fund alternative energy) which I DID vote for, didn't win.

Stupid electorate.

xoxoxoxo kisses!! xoxoxoxo

Dreams

I like to analyze the dreams of my friends because it gives me a chance to sound learned and smart.

In fact, I'm so good at it that one of my friend's therapists asked my friend during their session, while discussing a certain dream ... "What does DIANA say about this one?"

Ha ha ha ha!!

My own dreams are not as fun. In fact, the one I had last night was out and out stupid. It had to do with work. In it, I dreamt I'd given my notice, then I changed my mind and they wouldn't take me back.

WHAT COULD IT MEAN???

Also, I've been out of school now for 17 years, so WHY do I keep having that dream where you're taking the final for the class you forgot to attend all term?

I HATE that dream.

Here are other things that pop up in my dreams for no apparent reason:

1. Buses
2. Airplanes
3. Phones

Often, my dream includes riding a bus on a never ending route full of precarious drop-offs .

The plane ones include either being unable to make it to the airport on time for a flight OR standing on a tall rooftop when all kinds of weird planes ... rocket ships, really, start exploding in the air.

A couple of times, I've dreamt I'm boarding a plane for a long flight when I realize that I'm in a giant cafeteria.

Also, why is it that my dreams are populated by people I don't know in my waking life? Rarely does someone I actually know visit my dreams. Or if they do, they're acting totally weird.

I know it all means something but I don't want to analyze my own dreams because I am afraid I would have to conclude that I'm a complete and utter nutbag.

xoxoxo kisses + naptime xoxoxoxo

guhsmoobles

Yesterday I got an email from an old friend!

I love it when that happens.

So I had a really nice weekend. Would you like to know what I did? If you don't, then skip this next entry because it is ALL ABOUT THE WEEKEND OF CHEESE!!

On Friday I went to bed at 5 in the afternoon. Then I got up at about 11 to talk to Pickle on the phone and eat some frozen appetizers I had in my freezer. Yum! Then I went back to bed and fell asleep, despite Carlos Muffin's best efforts to keep me awake.

On Saturday, I woke up early and washed all my clothes and cleaned up my entire palace. It is so nice to have a fresh little abode. Noodle and Carlos were no help. Everytime I swept the floor in the kitchen, one or both of them came in to scatter more kibble about.

Then I finished my book and took a nap. When I got up, I put on a newish dress that is really cute and a pair of boots and went over to Tex' house. From there, we went to 12 G's and saw the band Mudhoney. ROCK.

Then I got a nice big fat burrito and walked home. When I got there, I ate the WHOLE THING and went to bed.

On Sunday, I woke up with a tummyache.

After that subsided, I got in my little car and drove out to Pacifica, where I attended an "L-Yes" rally with Anna, Donovan and the Teacups along with various other partyers. I don't know what Measure L is, nor do I care. The rally included free beer, potato salad and tri-tip. It was pretty fancy and they would have my vote if I was a Pacifican. Yes. It's true. My vote is for sale -- for beer.

Speaking of the election. There's this stupid little faux folk song some organization came up with in order to help succinctly explain the state propositions. Normally, I'm a peaceful person and full of freshness and good cheer. But, given the nature of my job, I've had to hear snippets of this idiot song all day long and it's making me want to punch somebody in the face.

xoxoxo love and kisses!xoxoxo unless you're the voter song writer! then *smack* xoxoxo

All My Favorite Peeps

are Scorpios.

Okay that's an exaggeration. Every sign of the zodiac is represented among my people.

But, along with Pickle (November 1), Cindy (November 12) and my dad (November 21) there is someone very special to me who was born under the sign of Scorpio.

That is ... of course ...

Stuart Goddard a.k.a ADAM ANT!!

Happy Birthday Adam Ant! I hope you are having a wonderful day and that you are over your anger issues.

xoxoxo kisses!! xoxoxoxo

Mercury sucks

Yes, its my usual complaint.

My ruling planet is constantly retrograde! gah!!!

It is not fair to expect me to maintain normalcy when a stupid PLANET cannot even travel along a forward path.

The good things about being Gemini certainly outweigh the bad, but as if having two personalities wasn't enough, I am being pulled in different directions every time I turn around.

No cheese here. It's RAINING!! hooray! I can't wait to go home and put on my jammies.

Yesterday there was a party here at work. It was awesome. We had a caramel apple pie with freshly whipped cream as well as two pizzas and all kinds of post Halloween candy. Including MINI m and m's. they're so teeny.

I am reading this great book right now called "A Trip to the Stars." It is too surreal to explain but is quite good.

I came up with a great new pick up line. (MAN!! I wish I was a 23 year old guy because I really think chicks would dig me) Anyways. I tried this out and it seemed to work, though I had failed to target someone I really wanted to talk to for more than thirty seconds. Live and learn, I guess.

Let me set the scene:

When: Halloween Night, about 12:36A-M
Where: 12 Galaxies
With: Tex (as Rapunzel) Scott (as Charlie Brown) and other assorted partyers.
Why: Good Question.

Tex and I were standing at the end of the bar when ... suddenly ... I catch a glimpse of a young man who looks startlingly authentic dressed up as Hugh Jackman's Wolverine. WOW!! So, I walked up to him:

Me: (dorky Axl Rose/Pirate hybrid) "Um ... were you looking for me?"
Wolve: (startled, turns to look) "Hmmm... I MIGHT be."
Me: "Oh! well I guess you found me." (Here's where my efforts fell short. The BOY has to pick up the ball and run with it quickly and decisively because I'm only good for a quarter mile)
Wolve: (failing to pick UP the ball): "Oh. heh" ... (long pause) "What's your name?"
Me: "I'm di-AHN-a"
Wolve: "nice to meet you, I'm blurble mumble"
Me: "What"
Wolve: Blurble!!! blurble!! I live in Pittsburg!
Me: (cutting my losses) "Oh! hey!"

It occurred to me then that A. He was most likely young enough to be my son and B. He was geographically undesirable (because, you know, that ALWAYS stops me) and C. May have been there with a boy.

Come to think of it, maybe he DIDN'T mean Pittsburg, PA, but the Bay Area burg of Pitt. duh.

whatevs. But isn't that a GREAT pick up line? He was totally forced to talk to me.

And if there would have been any interest between us, the conversation would have flowed naturally AND ... it would make a good "cute meet" story.

Now I'm not going to patent this, but if you employ this pick up method, let me know if you get good results.

x0x0x0 LOVE!! and kisses with age and interest appropriate peeps! x0x0x0

I know. I have too much time on my hands.

All Saints Day

It FEELS like the Day of the Dead but that's not til tomorrow.

However, just because I'm a bit ... SLEEPY and SNEEZY (two dwarves in one) ... doesn't mean this isn't a VERY HAPPY (hey!) day.

That's because it is our friend Pickle's BIRTHDAY!!

Yay Pickle!! I hope you are having a wonderful day full of love. PARTY ON.


Meantime, another Halloween has come and gone.

And I thought New Year's Eve was amateur night. My God.

DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE JOBS??

Whatever. Tonight's the night it ALL happens ... yes. Lost and ANTM. Last night was just a warm up to the FUN Noodle, Carlos M. and I will be having in just a few short hours.

From now on ... you may refer to us as the Hampshire Street Geek Collective.

Membership is free, but the qualifications are strict, and the entry test rigorous.

I cannot wait until naptime.

xoxoxo snuggles xoxoxo

Bunny: Morose, Yet Nimble

I have a new favorite video on YouTube.

Poor Bunny! He is so sad. He's a pretty good dancer though. I'm sure he'll meet someone soon.

Carlos Muffin can relate. Carlos was emasculated this weekend. He will never, ever know what it is to make love to a woman.

Sorry Carlos!! It was for your OWN GOOD.

It's Halloween tomorrow! My usual M-O ... which consists of insisting that I WILL NOT go out on Halloween ... only to decide at the last minute ... ohhh... okay ... gawd ... is once again at work. That means ... yes, I'll be meeting with some profligate friends for a "couple of drinks" ... and we all know how where that leads.

The All Saint's Day from Hell.

I'm dressing up as a pirate ... though after I got be-garbed during a practice run last night ... Loli told me I resembled a late model Axl Rose more so than the female equivalent of Jack Sparrow.

Oh well ... I think I wear washed up rock star very well. And that's what Johnny Depp was going for in his depiction of a pirate ... right? Keith Richards!! So, it seems, my costume is destined to be a huge success!!

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

If all else fails, I can always be a woodland fairy.


xoxoxo kisses!!! AHOY! xoxoxo

The queen on Queens

What a WEEKEND it was!!

Cindy is gone now but we had super duper fun. Here's what we did:

1. Watched "The Upside of Anger." That is a horrible movie so don't rent it.

2. Walked to the Metreon and watched "Marie Antoinette." It ROCKED for several reasons, notably the clothes trimmed with tulle, the excellent accessories, and the use of the Adam and The Ants song "Kings of the Wild Frontier" as the musical accompaniment of the only sex scene in the movie. An INSPIRED choice.

3. Went to Safeway to get gauze, pads and surgical tape for the bottoms of my poor little tender feet, from which all the skin peeled after that long walk from my house to the theatre. DAMN! that hurt.

4. Modeled through the pain that night, to meet Lolita and Mari for drinks ... walking to a local bar AND walking back! I wore boots.

5. Went to the new mall on Market Street. It was underwhelming but whatever. It is SHOPS!!

6. Tried to keep Carlos Muffin from messing about with Noodle.

7. Went to Ti Couz and had desserts, then Blondie's for cocktails. We had the watermelon martinis.

8. Got stood up by her cousin.

9. Watched a t-v show about feral children.

10. Went to the Embarcadero and watched "The Queen." EXCELLENT. My highest recommendation.

11. Had fish and chips at the Phoenix. I sent food back to the kitchen for the first time in my life because the fish were frozen inside. EUGH! it was yucky.

12. Watched the encore presentation of America's Next Top Model and ate drumstick ice cream cones at the same time. Bemoaned the fact that we wouldn't be able to watch the Fabio footage as a unit.

I can't wait for next weekend, when Carlos will be fixed. He is out of HAND. GOD!!

I HATE frugality. These are sad times.

The Ides of November cannot come soon enough.

Angela's mom has just informed her daughter, who in turn has informed me, that she has made us a pumpkin and chocolate chip cake, topped with whipped cream cheese frosting.

YES!!

That is the best news I have ever heard.

xoxoxo kisses!!

Haikus

Advice for Carlos Muffin:

If the vet shaves you
Do not lie with your legs spread
on a glass table

Ode to Noodle:

Fuzzy furry ball
of love and snorting kitty
You make cute noises

Cindy's visit:

We have snacks and beer
We never need leave the house
I am pajamaed

Fall:

Leaves turning colors
Pumpkin spice creamer is good
No more salad days

Sandwiches:

Delicious and fun
A portable meal for you
I like turkey on wheat

Cindy:

Existentialist
They got a lot of muffins
Neatly arranged, too

Friday night:

Somebody farted
Sweaty sweatbox Beauty Bar
Chub rub hurts real bad

Saturday morning:

Coffee is good
for hangovers and more ills
get back into bed

The kitty-cats

My sweeties!!!

That's me and Noodle.

Below is Carlos Muffin.

He's bigger now though because he is still growing.

Busting Makes Me Feel Good!

Remember that song? I just heard it being played down the hall.

Hah hah hah ha ha ha ha ha!!

Halloween is coming up so maybe that is why it was on the radio.

Speaking of Halloween, I got a preview of Little D and the Teacups' Halloween outfits yesterday.

Donovan is going to be Winnie the Pooh, Dane is going to be Tigger and Lucia is going to be PIGLET!!!!

They are way too ridiculously cute for words so I will not say anymore about them. After the fashion show Anna and I went to Ross. I got a new sweater and some slippers. Woo-doo hoo.

It was super fun.

Other than that, I barely left the house this weekend. Except I DID go out on the town Friday night - with Anna incidentally.

We hit all the old hotspots from our Loveshack days. ah memories ...

But other than that ... hmm. I washed clothes, read two super good books and started a third. I played with Carlos Muffin and tried to keep him from bothering Noodle. Also, I ate a LOT of pizza! and i slept darling ... i slept as if I would never wake - tucked up all squishy in my feather bed with my feather comforter on top. It was kind of like being a baby goose in the nest except not really. I didn't have a big GOOSE BOTTOM on my head!!

It is Boss' day so don't forget to wish your boss a good day. We were going to bring muffins but forgot.

xoxoxo kisses!! xoxoxo

Ants

I have them.

In my pants.

Not LITERALLY for God's sake.

My ants pants are gallic ants. They want to go to FRANCE!

That's right. I want to go on a trip. I want to go somewhere that's fun and neato and far far away.
It doesn't HAVE to be France, necessarily.

Did you know they're outlawing smoking in most public places there? Yes.


Has the world gone MAD??

As Eric would say ... kiss kiss one MILLION kisses!!

Kitty Cat P-S-A

I know all y'all are super - jellus when I post stories and photos of Miss Noodle and Little Carlos Muffin because they are so frigging cute!!

Well, no longer need you be sad because you don't have your own little fuzzy pal.

That's because the Marin Persian Rescue Society is putting an emergency call out for people who will give their little clients foster and/or permanent homes!!

I know. It's a dream come true.

This is the place that gave me Noodle. And they're in dire straits at the moment, due to ... according to the website ... massive dumping of inventory by unscrupulous breeders. Which means breeders looking to get out of the business of breeding cats aren't bothering to find homes for the animals that provided them with kittens to sell. Instead, they're flooding area shelters with tons of these poor little sweet cats. That's taxing the ability of rescue providers to foster homeless cats while permanent homes are sought - so lots of cats are left at shelters to ... you guessed it. To be put down. Wah!

So I'm just putting it out there. I know, I know. There are so many reasons NOT to have a cat! And no worries if you can't ... I still think you are super neato and cool too. I am just reaching out with this information JUST IN CASE there's someone reading this who maybe has been wanting a little snuggly pal.

**end PSA**

In other news ... it's FALL!! In October, this is my favorite time of year! In June, I love Summer best ... but right now I have tights and sweaters ... new scarves and mittens plus big clompy boots and fun fabulous coats on my mind. Hooray!

Tonight will be the best night ever. I have a houseguest named Lolita, frozen potatoes in my freezer, grated cheese in my refrigerator and red wine in my bodega.

I am going to make a cheesey casserole, pour myself a glass and watch new episodes of my TWO favorite shows! LOST (welcome back Sayid! *glmsch*! ) and ANTM.

I can't think of anything that would make me happier at this minute.

Unless - that is - I hear about a massive exodus of cats out of the Marin Persian Rescue and into the arms of all my loved ones.

xoxo kisses and love-pats! xoxoxo

Bad Planning

Here are three things you may already know about me: I'm a coffee achiever, a lover of red wine ... and a cigarette addict. (still! I know!! LOSER!! oh well.)

These vices add up to one result: OOKY TEETH.

Luckily there is a remedy for such things. It is called "Britesmile."

Yes. I went to the Britesmile "tooth whitening spa," had gunk put on my teeth, and sat in a pod equipped with a white pleather lounge chair, where my mouth was bathed in blue light for an hour. It was so Star Trek! I also got to watch VH-1 so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

And when I was done ... well. Let me just say, I HAVE WHITE TEETH!

They look really sparkly. Hooray!

But my timing was horrible. I was sitting there in my personal pod, about halfway through being gunkified, when the gunk applyer tells me, by the way, you can't smoke, drink red wine, or have coffee for the next 24 HOURS!

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A daunting quest, to be sure, to avoid my beloved trifecta of mood altering substances for 24 hours. But, doable really.

But NOT on the day that LOST premiered!! (dooontsch)

Because the teeth whitening peeps also said I couldn't eat or drink anything that was anything but white, clear or cream-colored for the same time period.

So my careful preparations for a pizza and wine fueled frenzy in my living room to celebrate the return of my favorite show were dead. I was forced to regroup.

All my favorite foods were verboten. No sandwiches. No beer. No nuggets. No pesto. No NOTHING!! not even cheddar cheese.

I ended up having pasta alfredo with asiago cheese, white onions and breast of chicken.

To drink, I had water. I was very sad and sulky about it.

But boy, my teeth look nice.

xoxo KISSES and SPARKLES xoxoxo

Good Times

I got kind of nostalgic this weekend.

Nadia came over. We went shopping and watched Anchorman. Then James dropped by to eat this special Indian pizza and drink beer with us while we watched some PBS show about Stonehenge and other pre-Christian burial sites and places of worship in the U-K.

It was just the kind of day the two of us used to have every once in awile when we were roommates over on Dolores Street.

I DON'T miss the landcrotch, but sometimes I really miss living in my old apartment, as well as Nadia, and by extension, James. And I was kind of sad when she went home.

But it IS nice to live alone sometimes too. No one knows I spent the ENTIRE day in bed yesterday. Well, you do now, true.

But while it was happening, no one knew except Noodle and Carlos Muffin, my partners in sloth. It was AWESOME.

I have spaghetti to eat today that I made out of tomatoes Angela's mom grew in her garden.

yum.

xoxo kisses!!!!!! xoxoxo hugs/love!!

More laughs

I'ts official ... I'm a partyer!!


Tex came over last night for our weekly Survivor date - we had a tomato and cheese platter plus special yummy puffs. DEELISHOUS!!


I took an extra long nap yesterday, as she'd warned me ahead of time she wanted to take me out after Survivor. YES! on a school night!
But The Billy Nayer Show was making an appearance at 12 G's ... so ... I was invited along.

ROCK!

Before the headliner ... we were treated to the musical stylings of a band called "Faun's Fables."

FAUN'S FABLES!!

GAH! hah hah hah hah

The music was best described last night by a bystander as the sound you hear when you're being killed by a unicorn.



The Faun dude did play a flute, which was kind of fun.

The whole thing was so woodland fairy, rustle in the hedgerow, Pipes of Pan OUT THERE that I am glad I didn't miss it.

I don't expect to ever witness such a show again.

Actually, Faun's Fables would be kind of nice at the right venue.

Which would be Stonehenge. While picnicking with a Centaur.

On a related note, you can now buy pizza at 12 Galaxies. It's pretty good.

xoxoxo kisses! xoxoxo

Do you like to LAUGH?

Then you should check out this show: MORTIFIED.

Jelly and I went to the Make Out Room (sorry, no link - you can google it) to see this show, which consists of people (adults) reading passages from the diaries they kept as adolescents.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is nice to learn at the age of 40 that, compared to these fools, I wasn't even a GEEK in junior high.

If only I knew then what I know now. Oh well.

Anyways, So Jelly came over and met Noodle and Mr. Carlos Muffin -- we quaffed some Stella, then we went to the show and laughed until we cried.

We even stayed for the whole thing ... which is ... for us ... a pretty big deal.

I got kinda drunk because the bartender got my drink wrong. She put too much vodka in it. I COULD have asked her to make me another one, but I don't like to cause trouble. You know.

Then we got FAT Carne Asada burritos and went back to my house and set a new land speed record for eating.

Then I passed out on the couch.

When I woke up, I found that Carlos has passed an important milestone on the road to growing up.

His sweet little "mew mew" voice has changed into a decidedly "HOW YOU DOIN' " style ME-OWW.

It's NEUTER time!

Now I'm at work and I'm hungover. ROCK ON!! This hasn't happened in a LONG time.

I've got to get out more.

xoxoxo kisses!! xoxo

Shaking Off The Hate

Not to worry -- these are happy times!!

Especially since just mere hours separate me from the beginning of what's shaping up to be a fun weekend!

This afternoon, I have a visit planned with the triumvirate known as Little D and the Teacups. Yes.

Plus there's the annual celebration tomorrow at Nadia and James' Palace of Love. Right ON. BBQ, Beer and a Hot Tub. Another triumvirate of excellence.

Carlos Muffin made a new friend last night. Tex came over for our weekly T-V night (we're watching Survivor now) and brought Baba - who is a cute little well-behaved and lovable dog she babysits on occasion. Carlos really liked him!! Bob didn't return the feeling on the level Carlos was giving it - but he was a good sport.

You know what this means. Someday, I'll be able to have a pet dog of my own, and Carlos will accept and love him!!

Noodle was also a good sport and managed to hang out with the rest of us, though she did stay under the desk for sanity's sake.

Peace, love and harmony: More proof that good things come in threes!

xoxoxo love and KISSES! xoxoxo

Here's What Sucks

Isn't it dumb when you find out unintentionally that someone you thought didn't mind your presence ... actually does?

Oh well. One harsh truth about life is ... you can't please everyone ... and in fact, the only person you are guaranteed to please is yourself.

A useful lesson for us all.

However, one of the nicest things life can teach you ... if you let it ... is how excellent it is when the people who DO appreciate you let you know.

That makes up for any idiocy a million times over.

Funky Cold Banana

The Universe communicates with me through a most unusual middleman.

It's TONE-LOC.

When I get in my car in the morning, if a Tone-Loc song is playing, then I know the Universe is trying to tell me something.

It's up to me to interpret it, but as you might imagine, Tone-Loc at 4:40 in the morning usually portends something GOOD!!

So far, today has been Excellent thanks to the sweet sweet sounds of the classic "Funky Cold Medina."

Anyways.

Something really neat has happened already!! Dory came in with a prezzie for Noodle and Carlos Muffin with love from the entire Happy Bunny family!

They got a Hello Kitty backpack to pack their things in when we go on trips plus lots of treats and toys! Including the cutest little catnip mice I've ever seen and a baby catnip pillow with a poem on it. And a teaser too.

They are SORTED.

Hooray! I wonder what other fun surprises the Universe has in store for me today.

Speaking of Carlos M, he is quite the snuggliest little kitty in the world.

Boy, I'm glad that worked out.

xoxo kisses!!

A New Tradition!

I have started one with my friend Terry.

We don't work together anymore so now we eat lunch together at GRUMPY'S!! (aka The Taint, or "Dorky's") on a semi regular basis.

Yum yum yum a burger and no BUN!!

Normally I'm a giant bun fan. But we get bunless burgers because Terry doesn't eat wheat products and I drink my bun. In the form of a Stella, after a hard day's work.

(in fact my order is really ridiculous. I get a Bacon Western Cheeseburger, with no bacon, no bun and a meat patty comprised of turkey. YEAH!! now if only they had mashed potatoes my world would be complete.)

I didn't get to drink my bun today because I'm trying to be a little more reasonable when it comes to beer consumption. So no beers on days that start with M. Unfortunately, that means Monday.

My goal is to lose 10 ounces in each underarm.

Next time I'll make sure we lunch on a different day. I want my liquid bun!

There was a SUPER CUTE guy at Grumpy's today. His hair was kind of unfortunate but he was wearing a heather grey thermal.

I love a guy in a thermal. I don't know why, I just think it's a good look.

Like they're ready at a moment's notice to go camping.

Also if they've got a hot body (or a "nice build" as my mom would say) it's easy to tell.

ROWR!!

xoxo love and KISSES! xoxoxo

Floppy McDooples

Today's the day!!

The day ... the day ... the day before PAY DAY!!

Hooray!

That's a little song I like to sing.

My wacky facialist is no longer on staff at my aesthetician's office. Piss! She got carpal tunnel syndrome. So I have to meet with a new lady today.

Who knew that squeezing other people's spots could be so harmful to one's carpals?

Luckily I don't have to get a procedure done today. It's just a consultation. I say that's lucky, because, as I have previously pointed out, it's the day before Pay Day.

Then I have to go to H and M and take back this STUPID dress I got there a couple of weeks ago.

It is a badly conceived, ill fitting garment that seduced me from its rack by being brown with white polka dots.

I wish it fit because it really is cute. But it is too small in the shoulder and too big in the booo00000000000000ty.

No one normal could wear this dress.

Although, come to think of it, the place where this dress pulls the most is in the underarms. And it is a well known fact that I have fat underarms.

Maybe I am a FREAK!

I have a bit of sad news to impart. This really cool guy who discovered a novel way to quit smoking in 1983 and has spent the ensuing years teaching other people how to quit has been diagnosed with lung cancer.

I hope he recovers.

He says in his book the thirty years he spent as a smoker was all worth it because it enabled him to discover his method for quitting ... which in turn has led to thousands of lives saved.

Go Allen Carr! You're pretty neat.

I'm reading his book, but don't get all excited about it. I don't want to hear one word, as a matter of fact. When I quit, I'll let you know.

xoxo sweet and fresh flower kisses! *soon* xoxo

I still NEED a Farm!!

This is a baby skunk.

Cuteoverload featured a picture of a litter of several baby skunks today.

And of course, I took one look at the photo and realized a baby skunk (de-smellified) would be the perfect pet!!

But I am full up in my mini-house. No more animals!! Mr. Carlos Muffin and Noodle are already bouncing off the walls.

Actually, Carlos is the only one doing any bouncing. Noodle is too sophisticated to act so silly. She simply looks down her nubbin at Carlos when he runs around like he's all hopped up on goofballs.

But they take up more room than you would think. And I take up room as well, so I must limit my happy little family to three members.

I want a little yellow cottage on my farm.

xoxo kisses!! see you on the farm!! xoxoxo

Astrology rules!

I got such a nice horoscope from Astrology.com today.

It says:

Gardens have periods where they need to lie fallow before they can come into bloom -- they need time to enrich the soil and gather strength. This is your time to gather your resources before you blossom into love.

NAMASTE BITCHES!!

(i added that little part)

I LOVE it when they tell me to lay low and avoid people.

Yes. I'm antisocial. So the fuck what?

This little period of alone time will allow me to appreciate it when love comes walking my way again. As it always does. Although V-Rab may doubt whether I'll have another date sometime over the next forty years, I have no fear that at SOME POINT I will be asked out, and will actually enjoy the company of a male type person.

Until then, I'll talk loudly about Noodle and Mr. Carlos Muffin and the minutiae involved in taking care of two smooshy faced cats.

Cat lady talk is even better than biological clock talk to keep the fools at bay.

All that aside, there's word that I'm harboring a MOST inappropriate crush at the moment.

Do not badger me, for you will never know who it is.

xoxo kisses for all! (not just the crush) xoxoxo!!

I Am TOO a pretty princess!

See?

Grade: A plus for cuteness

I can now provide an eyewitness report on the cuteness of my new first cousin once removed - and, as expected, his score is OFF THE CHARTS. Young Jack is ... simply put ... ADORABLE.

I got to visit him, along with the new parents, grandparents and auntie yesterday. I also got to hold him and he was quite snuggly and content. Hooray!

I will post a picture soon ... until then, you'll have to take my word for it.

In other news ... I got a promotion yesterday. One that includeded a magical wand and a sparkly tiara.

Yes. Rebecca has dubbed me her number one Pretty Princess for offering my aid in the construction of the breast cancer sports brassiere.

It is a decorated running bra that will be auctioned off... the proceeds of which will be given to help fight the scourge known as breast cancer.

I have to admit, our team effort made a boring white spandex bra into a thing of beauty that any stylish woman would be proud to sport.

Whoever dons the bra also gets a bonus hat. So I think we will get a LOT of proceeds.

The project was a major team effort: People across the newsroom and from offices beyond contributed dental floss for the sewing portions (no thread to be found, alas.), with nary a question asked.

Thanks Peeps!!

xoxoxo kisses and baby sized snuggles xoxoxoxo

Good NEWS!!

On TWO fronts!!

First of all -- please congratulate me. I am the proud new second-cousin (or is it first cousin, once removed? How the hell do I know, I'm not royalty) to my cousins Susan and Bart's new baby boy.

No name yet. I will visit him tomorrow and report back on the cuteness factor, which is, I expect, HUGE.

I am also reveling in happiness over the birth of another new baby.

This one isn't human ... it's the size and weight of a stick of butter ... and it is hairless.

Yes.

A BABY PANDA!! IN PANDALANTA!

HOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have a new plan in the works. I will let you all know what it is as soon as I am assured of its success. I have no worries but I abhor being needled. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I can finally publically congratulate our friend Jelly on her new job. Congratulations Angela!! I promise not to bother you and get you in trouble.

I DO have some advice, however:

Try not to suck so much!

hah hah hah hah

This should be super fun! I anticipate she'll sit right across from me and, together, we will RULE THE ROOM!!

Today on Geraldo (I am forced to watch, you know, thanks to the bank of T-Vs here) they are doing an expose on Big Men With Little Dogs.

Frankly, I can't think of anything that could make a man MORE attractive. A man who keeps a small dog as a pet and companion is clearly confident and loving and doesn't care what other people think! He doesn't need a big tough dog to intimidate others and obviously doesn't measure his sense of masculinity by the size of his unneutered dog's testicles.

Go Big Men with Little Dogs!! I am on YOUR side!!

(that's not to say I don't like big dogs! Or people who love them! And I will concur that MOST men who keep a big dog just happen to like big dogs. But, I personally know several exceptions to that circumstance as well.)

Anyways. I wish I could have a little dog. Why do apartment owners have no pet rules? Grr. I can't complain though, since I have two lovable CATS who are just as nice as a puppy.

Carlos Muffin like to sleep in the bag where I put my recyclable waste. He's weird.

Why is Maury Povich obsessed with big fat babies? It's disturbing.

xoxoxo big fat kisses! xoxoxo

Happy happy day!!

Guess WHAT?

Someone returned the stolen puppy!! hooray!! my faith in personkind is restored.

GOD! what a RELIEF.

Moving along.

Starbucks Rant and Rave:

This rant has been done before ... by ranters much more proficient and original, plus angrier than me.

But I believe it bears repeating because it irritates me daily.

WHY can't Starbucks just frickin call their sizes small, medium and large?

I wouldn't care, really ... if the Starbucksters would just nod and pull my drink when I order ... say ... a medium coffee.

But no. They say "... you mean, a GRANDE??"

Also, is a million dollars really a fair and reasonable price for a premade sandwich? No.

But I CAN say a couple of nice things about the closest Starbucks store.

Yesterday, I was getting my daily desperate hit when a REALLY SUPER DUPER cute guy walked in. He kind of looked like Kayser - and you know who I'm talking about if you are a pathetic loser such as myself and got sucked into watching BB All Stars this summer.

(interrupting Rave to say: was last night's episode the BEST EVER?? yes!!)

So, I have to admit, my Starbucks attracts cute customers. Hey - these are desperate times.

An up close and personal look at a nice looking man is always a good way to start the day.

uh ... yeah.

Hmm. TODAY, the cute guy was NOT there but the happy and friendly, plus efficient, Wednesday barista team was hard at work makin' coffees and chopping up pastries.

Most of the peeps who staff this particular store are especially annoying. But these two are nice. They have earned my cheesey seal of approval. A big orp-orp sticker for them.

That's all I got.

Last night Tex came over to partake of cheesey Television, spreadable cheese, crackers and a spot of Cabernet.

IT WAS AWESOME. The aforementioned Big Brother episode turned the game upside down. I love seeing arrogant assholes get their asses handed to them, and so handily!

Then Rock Star. Something of an anticlimax, but is anyone going to REALLY buy tickets to their big ass New Year's Eve show?

Still good though.

I cannot believe how much Carlos Muffin and Noodle LOVE Tex. It is so sad she's allergic to cats because these guys cannot leave her alone.

Anyway, she got bit by the shopping bug over the weekend, and as she described her purchases, I felt the familiar - DEADLY- prick of desire for fresh new clothes, shoes, et cetera.

Will frugality win out? Or ... will I succumb to temptation?

The Fall of Fun New Things has a really snappy ring to it, no?

xoxo kisses and HAPPY PUPPY hugs!!

An OUTRAGE

That's it. I've had it with the stupid world.

Today we have a story about a baby puppy (see picture) no bigger than a can of corn which was stolen from the family car at U-C-S-F Medical Center.

Okay, so my first thought. Who the hell leaves their dog in a car in a parking garage?

But, not so fast. This particular puppy is the companion of an eight year old kid who is undergoing treatment for a rare, fatal form of cancer. The dog was waiting in the car while the boy had a medical procedure done; when that was finished, the boy's family was going to bring the puppy in to visit his ailing pal. So you can see why the puppy was in the car. Also, he wasn't left alone. The sick boy's big brother had been waiting with him ... but stepped inside the hospital for a second in order to find out whether the procedure was over and he could bring the puppy to his brother's room. When he comes out ... some IDIOT had broken the car windows and taken the puppy.

It is BEYOND MEAN. I can't stand sharing the world with people who do stuff like that. ASSHOLES.

I know, I know. My rage should be used up on terrorists and crooked politicians, etc. They're a pissy lot, to be sure.

But who the hell steals a teeny puppy from a locked car in a hospital parking garage?? Or FROM ANYWHERE for that matter???

Don't get me started on the Nutnap incident. I may go ballistic.

It can't be healthy to get this worked up about something I can't do anything about. All I can do is send positive, sparkly thoughts to the puppy and the boy and hope that they find each other again soon.

If you could help me in that endeavor, that would be super excellent and really cool.

Tomorrow: a rant (and small rave) for Starbucks.

xoxo reluctant love and pissy snorgles xxoxoxo

Labor Day Party

It is Labor Day which calls for a party.

Unfortunately, my party is taking place in my head. Seeing as how I'm at work.

But it doesn't matter. Because I have a hot pocket AND a bowl of cereal. AND Haircut 100 is playing down the hall.

I loved that band.

Noodle is doing lots better now after her little barfing sickness. And she and Carlos Muffin spent the weekend cuddling with each other. Noodle is quite the diligent little care-taker. She likes to wash Carlos' face for him. aw.

I am so happy they like each other! What a relief.

Here's another photo of Carlos - sans headgear this time.

I cannot believe the Crocodile Hunter was killed by a stingray. I gasped out loud in shock when I read that headline. DUDE!

I wish I had some cheesey story to tell, but I don't. Unfortunately, I was laid up for much of the weekend with a headache. I DID attend the SF Mime Troupe's latest offering in Dolores Park on Saturday with Mari and Lolita. We had SUPER FUN! Except I slept through some of it. I couldn't help it! The show was good but the sun felt better.

The universe is about to be set right after six long months. Yes. It's true. Jelly is returning to work. At last. It's been a long, hard summer - highlighted by her absence as well as the loss of another key player in my everyday life. I've been cast out to sea -- adrift, if you will -- but am now seeing the promise of land on the far horizon. Just one more week.

xoxo love, kisses and snorgles!!

Muffin Man

It's a BOY!!

I feel like one of those ladies who find out prior to giving birth what the sex of their baby is through the use of ultrasound technology ... then get a big surprise on baby's birthday.

His name is Mr. Carlos Muffin. He is the spazziest kitty cat in the whole world. He loves to play with leaves and corks as well as toys from Petco.


This is a picture of Carlos that I took while we were driving home from his birthplace in Seattle. As you can see he is fast asleep and is dreaming about being a bunny. aw. berschnorble!

Cynthia and I are safely returned to San Francisco after an all night drive. Carlos handled it ... Noodle not so much. But we're all safely home - albeit with items covered in Noodle pee ... but there you go.

To celebrate, we're eating pizza.


xoxoxoxoxo

I'm EASY!

Yes indeed. A veritable PUSHOVER!

Sorry. This sounds like its going to be juicy story.

Guess again.

Instead, its just more evidence that while I am tough and mean and cold cold cold on the outside, inside I'm a squishy little melted marshmallow.

I was walking to Benefit to get my eyebrows shaped when suddenly, I'm accosted by a random guy in a "Children International" polo shirt and a clipboard.

No Kyle. HELL NO! You aren't getting me to throw down! I don't care how cute and young you are, how muscular your forearms as you wield your literature, how golden your hair, how bright blue and sparkly your eyes as you knock me over the head with the fact that kids all over the world don't have access to clean water or toilets!

Well duh. I told him I was "tapped out." (hah but he didn't think it was funny) I told him I already give my money to the care of kittens and Greenpeace. He wasn't buying it. I told him I was late to my eyebrow appointment. He challenged me to cancel it, and give the money to the kids. I tried to get away, but his zeal conquered my resolve ... and ... yes.

So now I am the sponsor of a three year old kid in India named Anisur.

I have to say, he's an adorable little guy. In his fact sheet, it says he likes toys and cars and he's good at drawing. He also helps his mom around the house.

GOD!!

So I get to send him 18 dollars per month and that will pay for his medical expenses, his educational expenses when he goes to school, clothes, and some food.

I was IRRITATED that I gave in to ol' Kyle's smooth little spiel (it DID help that he was a hottie) but I am over it now. Because I went on to my eyebrow appointment and about five minutes later, I was handing over 18 dollars to the eyebrow lady ... THE EXACT AMOUNT Anisur is getting from me, which, if it is spent as the charity promises ... really COULD make a difference in his life. The family information says Anisur's dad, who is a mechanic, takes home 35 dollars a month. Meantime, the charity's literature says it spends eighty percent of what's given by sponsors directly on the children -- which means my money represents about a 33 percent jump in the family income that is only spent on the child.

I am so, so good at validation. YES! it's a skill.

I also got a little bit excited when big talker Kyle told me I could send Anisur letters and packages, until I realized. Duh, I don't speak OR write Bengali. Oh well. I suppose love will find a way. And I COULD send him pencils and paper and whatnot and maybe he'll become a world famous artist and I WILL HAVE GIVEN HIM HIS START, thus going down in history, much like the patrons of artists such as Michaelangelo and Da Vinci! YES!

Pressure's on, Anisur.

xoxoxo kisses and hugs! plus lots of love to my new little friend.

Fruity Feelings

Here is an artist after my own heart.


It's Saxton Freymann, and according to his website, he's a New York City artist who "creates emotional animals completely out of produce."

You can read more about him and see more of his creations by clicking on that link!!

They are so so cute!! This looks like a dad tomato and a toddler tomato. Maybe they're at a baseball game or something.

Anyway. I was searching for a picture of a cute baby tomato when I came across Mr. Freymann's work.

((by the way, the tee shirt shown has nothing to do with Saxton Freymann's work. However, a serendipitous email from Jelly yesterday contained a link to that shirt, and advised me to purchase one. Only if she does too and we wear them to work on the same day. In different colors, of course. )

ANYWAY. The reason I wanted a baby tomato pic is because I have my very own baby tomato sitting at my desk this week. He's green, not red and is about the size of a small pea. He has a substantial stem and is quite cute. My friend gave him to me after she found him hiding inside her little package of cherry tomatoes. I am quite attached already and am keeping him safe from an evil co-worker who threatened to squash him.

You know. It's the little things that keep me sane. Or not. I don't know which it is really. It probably IS strange to adopt a pea sized tomato as a pet.

Also, he doesn't DO much. Just sort of wobbles and falls over on his side when I try to place him upright. Also, he's very quiet.

I'LL NEVER EAT KETCHUP AGAIN!!

The magazine fairy left me an OK magazine today. Hooray! Now I can catch up on my celebrity cheese.

Thanks MF. Not Mo-Fo but Magazine Fairy.

That's an important distinction.

I have an idea that should make me millions of dollars. I'm still working out the details but when the checks start rolling in, there will be minicows for all.

xoxoxo kisses!!

A Happy Find

Today I put on my denim jacket and got a nice surprise!!

I haven't worn it for awhile and when I reached into the pocket, I found seven dollars!!

PARTY!

It was the perfect day to find it, because I didn't have any cash lying around the house with which to buy coffee. And since I have to go to Starbucks now, it costs two dollars!

wah. Anyways. TODAY I could buy three cups of coffee, if I wanted.

Don't you LOVE when that happens?

I have posted a picture from funmansion.com here for your pleasure. I, of course, got it from my favorite website. (cute overload, natch).

Is there anything that says spring more clearly than a polka dotted baby pig snorfing a daffodil? If there is, I can't think of it.

Too bad it is August -- but I couldn't resist.

Only ONE WEEK until the new kitten is MINE!! I should just get it over with and name her Squishy.

That's right. One week from today, I will go to Seattle with Nicole and get my new baby.

oh the ber snorglishiousness!!! geh geh geh geh geh geh!!!

Today I have a music lesson. My new teacher is nice but I'm still not big on practicing.

WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH? that seems to be the question of the month. It is unanswerable.

But, I must say, confusion, pain and lethargy have reigned these dog days.

Thank goodness my holiday is coming. Then, September will begin and I'll have a whole new chance to start up some season of good habit. You know. Like frugality or fitness. Or whatever.

love and kisses plus lots of snorty snorgles!

oxoxoxo

A Good Day

Today was better than yesterday!

My friend V-Rab brought me two tupperware containers full of my favorite of her creations!

It is the BREAD SALAD!

yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum

There's enough to last all weekend.

V-Rab rules. I can see why the fairy decided to make her Real.

This is Noodle and my final weekend here at home without the future kitty!

New name consideration: Strudel (rhymes with NOODLE!) That's Cynthia's idea. It's on the list!

Next week at this time I will have worked my final day for TEN WHOLE DAYS. We're going to go to Portland, visit the peeps, and get our friend. woo HOO.

I still have a week of hell to slog through but it should go quickly enough ... i hope.

I am a sad little cheese lately and I just wanted to say thanks for all your support - salads, hugs, and baby animal pictures really help.

love to all peeps

xoxoxo kisses and snorgles

Debris Pile

Remember the Velveteen Rabbit?

It's the story of a boy who gets a Velveteen Rabbit for a present and loves it so much that its fur wears off and its eyes fall out and it Doesn't Matter because it's what's INSIDE that counts.

Velveeteen Rabbit has a friend among the boy's toys named Skin Horse, a faithful companion of the boy's ... perhaps not as well loved by the boy, but an important part of the toy menagerie, none the less.

Then the boy gets scarlet fever and the rabbit must be burned because he is full of germs.

It ends happily, with the rabbit being turned real by a fairy and set free to have an even better life as a bunny among bunnies.

In one area of my life, there's a version of the Velveeteen Rabbit story being played out. In this story, I take the role of Skin Horse.

So I have a new nickname. It is Skin-Ho. My friend, who plays the role of Velveeteen Rabbit, is V-Rab.

Sometimes, telling a story about painful realities can make them easier to bear.

The good thing is, in the story, Velveteen Rabbit goes on to bigger and better things.

The bad thing is, Skin Horse remains on the boy's shelf, forgotten and alone.

I hope that is not a metaphor for what's in store.

(well, I hope my friend is as happy as Velveteen Rabbit becomes, but I also hope that as Skin Horse, I can move on from what happened in the story.)

xoxoxo love from Skin Ho ...

All's Well That Ends Well ....

When they were coming up with the great literary themes, one was somehow forgotten.

I speak, of course, of Man Versus Laundromat.

As you may remember, I had an Adventure in Landromatting last Friday from which I emerged the decisive LOSER.

I took up the gauntlet again yesterday afternoon, in hopes of killing the beast.

Here is my timeless tale ....

So I got home from work and looked at my laundry, still packed up in its going out bags and decided I must do this now, or all will be lost.

On Saturday, the day after disaster, I had gone to the previously padlocked laundromat and gotten change from its (working!!) change machine. So I had six dollars worth of quarters to work with, plus about $3.50 plucked from my change basket.

AND! I had a five and two ones for back up.

So ... ever cautious, I ventured out with just one load, to make sure everything was copacetic. It seemed so ... and I went back, with two HUGE loads.

I loaded up the machines, and started up the washers. My clothes chugged wetly, merrily, shedding their soil within horizontal cylinders. I breathed in the anticipation of fresh sheets, fluffy towels and warm snuggly pajamas.

But wait! I had washed so many clothes, I needed MORE QUARTERS, so that they could dry properly.

No worries, I thought. Here's a five dollar bill in my pocket. There's the change machine, the one I had used successfully on Saturday, on the wall. I approached, and held out my bill like an offering. The machine sucked it up .... hungrily ... greedily.

And failed to dispense the damn quarters. Gah!! WHY?? WHY am i being punished??

There's nothing to do but to go to three corner stores until I found one that would make change for me. The man behind the counter gave me four dollars worth of quarters and charged me fifty cents for the privilege. But I had nowhere else to turn! As you may remember, every laundromat's change machine within a three block radius was refusing to dispense change.

I was NOT defeated. I had quarters, even though my hoard was sadly depleted, and I must make every quarter now in my hand COUNT.

Back to the seventh circle of hell, I loaded my clothes in giant dryers. I then went home to seek solace in the form of Noodle.

But, my work was not yet done. I still had to remove my clean laundry from the dryers, fold it, and lug it home. Victory was within my grasp!!

So, I trudged back to the laundromat. The first dryer: done. Most articles were dry. Except one bathroom rug. I went to throw that into the other dryer, which was still running.

That's when I discovered the HEAT in the running dryer wasn't working!!

I almost threw in the towel (heh) at that point. My clothes were damp, but what did I care? Then I tried to imagine dragging damp clothes home ... and realized: that would signal failure. It was NOT an option.

So, again: I returned home. I scraped the bottom of every purse I own and came up with five quarters. Hopefully enough to put these articles in a dryer that works.

I returned and started up a new dryer. This time, I intended to remain on site to make sure I got my 35 minutes worth of hot air.

That's when a lady slipped in. She puttered around a minute ... then went into a locked back room. I realize ... this lady WORKS here!

I explained what happened with the change machine and she handed me five dollars worth of quarters!

At that moment, I realized the Universe had taken an active role.

It saw that I needed that money, so turned the heat off in one of the dryers I was using, to ensure that I'd be on the premises when the lady came in! Isn't that neat? (sure, I wasted two dollars on an hour's worth of cold air, but the Universe's work, is, by design ... somewhat circular.

Yay! Universe!!

From now on, after I'm done wearing something, I'm throwing it away.

xoxoxo kisses!

Sleepy Sunday

I am a horrible person.

I was forced to skip a birthday party yesterday after staying UP ALL NIGHT on Saturday night.

But it was worth it!! I was super fun shooting the cheese with three of my favorite peeps! And an all day nap on a Sunday is a happy treat!

Have you ever been to a party with a panini bar? I have, and let me tell you, I can't think of better party food than "make your own" customized pressed sandwiches!! PLUS!! There were several kinds of chicken wings, AND the world's best artichoke dip, as well as a big smooshy cake and delicious COOKIES!! I couldn't ask for anything more.

Well, I wouldn't have minded a "make your own pizza" station. Alas, no. But you can't have everything -- what would be left for which to strive?

Would you like to hear a pissy rant?

I am forever listing the things I love. That's because I am trying to be a sunshiny fresh flower all the time.

That's the goal. Unfortunately, I am subject to an anger that burns hot in my belly.

Here are the not so obvious things that PISS ME OFF (I'm not listing the obvious things, such as certain elected officials.)

1. Starbucks. F.Y.

2. Commercials for toe fungus medicine that feature evil yellow creatures. Also, commercials for toilet paper featuring bears.

3. Use of the word "hipster" in any form. Shut up.

4. Tacquerias that put peas in their rice. eeugh.

5. Drivers who use the bike lane as a parking lane.

6. People who pass off others' ideas or work as their own.

7. Men who make hissing noises or catcall at women on the street. Assholes.

8. Negative attitudes.*

9. Know it alls who don't really know jack.

10. People who think any woman who weighs more than 110 pounds is fat.

* you may think this is a dig at myself. I promise! I'm not negative. Everyone has personal pet peeves. I'm just writing mine down to share.

See above for bunnies in a barbie car. They're there to detract from the pissiness of it all.

xoxoxo until later!! love and kisses too.